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realistic college au meme;
or anyone here
I. living conditions 01. my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor II. chance meeting 01. it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here III. campus community 01. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat IV. credit hour woes 01. hey I have to [photograph/draw blood/film/insert major here] someone for class, will you be my guinea pig V. limited resources 01. you keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class |
5/3
papers are the worst. they are even more horrible the night before they're due and you had to stay up two days straight to quickly finish what was supposed to take an entire semester to write. but karkat had thought it would be fine? professors always tell you that you won't be able to write up an essay last minute, and then you end up doing it anyway.
well, it turned out karkat was able to write this essay last minute. he just had to almost kill himself to do so and he is sure he is probably crying blood at this point. but at long last, he is finally done, and all he has to do is print the stupid thing. unfortunately, the printer he has in his dorm room is out of ink and he doesn't have the money to buy a new cartridge for it. so, karkat goes to the shared one in his dorm's rec room to finally be done with this god awful assignment. at two in the morning.
of course, the printer fucking breaks.
karkat doesn't realize what happened at first. he checks to see if it has ink (it does), if it ran out of paper (it didn't), if it's plugged in (it is), and if there is some sort of paper jam (there isn't). yet it. won't print. after about half an hour of hopeless struggling against the printer, karkat starts to panic. because he? needs to finish this? his class is at 9 am??? ok, karkat, it's fine. just breathe. breathe.
nope he is freaking out. ]
Oh god? Oh god oh god it's not printing I am fucked, I am so fucked. This printer has fucked me over so well that I have to ask for its hand in marriage now oh my fuck.
[ he does not notice the other person in the room. ]
no subject
it's like two in the morning and no one else should be in the rec room, but. it's college. and college students keep notoriously fucked up hours, and dave strider never kept hours that were that normal to begin with. his roommate keeps actually standard hours (john has like a bedtime still and gets grouchy if he doesn't keep to it) but thankfully dave is an expert at being quiet in getting in and out so he barely ever bothers john when the dude's trying to sleep.
that's actually why he's out here, though, dicking around on his laptop in a corner in the most comfortable armchair when one of the other guys from his floor starts flipping his shit. ]
I'm pretty sure that's, like, illegal. Marrying a printer? Although there's actually probs no legal precedent for or against it so maybe you could get in on the ground floor before someone has to make up the legal laws to stop you gettin' it on like donkey kong.
no subject
also, karkat just very slowly looks over at dave because? he is way too calm considering this is the worst emergency of all time?? how can this dude be so chill when karkat's life is about to end because of this printer dying during his time of need? ]
Wow thanks for that advice, since that is obviously what my main problem is here. Whether or not I can have relations with this fucking printer. Crisis solved, do you want to go help me pick out a dress? I know it's like fuck o'clock in the morning but I'm sure we can find something open next to a Denny's and gas station.
[ he gives the printer a halfhearted shake. ]
no subject
[ again, not a tech expert, but shaking things seems like a good way to break them, yo. ]
If you want help pickin' out a dress, though, I'm game. You'd look nice in somethin' white, or are you no longer a pure enough maiden for that? Red is always a good choice, too.
[ he's going to get something thrown at him and he will deserve it ]
no subject
karkat watches that for a moment before turning his attention back to the printer. he is going to pretend that failure never happened. ]
My purity is none of your business, especially with how completely unhelpful you are being. Now look at this gigantic mess that you caused on top of the printer bullshit.
[ nvm the fact that karkat is the one who made the mess, but it's obviously dave's fault that it happened. ]
no subject
[ dave don't give him tips on how to harm you? ]
Also you're the one who made the mess. And just for that, I'm not gonna let you use my printer.
no subject
[ karkat completely ignores the part where dave says he will not let karkat use it because. THIS DUDE HAS A PRINTER!! he is saved. ]
Oh my fuck why didn't you tell me that before all of this?
[ he gestures at the mess. ]