lucybox | ty wants to see dave put his foot in his mouth

ty wants to see dave put his foot in his mouth

[ today in alternate reincarnation aus i guess: what if instead of john egbert walking into his college room, his Destined Roomie (tm) it happened instead like this?

dave and rose don't really go to parties that often. it's not that they're opposed to socializing or anything, it's just not their Thing. dave is more likely to spend his free time dicking around on the internet or bothering his siblings and friends. the only changes memories have caused is an occasional interest in being alone. rose - well, rose tends to have her own things, and like dave she seems to be perfectly fine without the College Experience of parties. dave's pretty sure roxy is the only one who really actively seeks that kind of thing out, and that suits him fine.

so he's not really sure why he and rose agree to go to this party, except it's being thrown by a bunch of rose's more nerdy friends, people she's met in classes that dave doesn't take. and, well, if rose grabs dave's arm and tells him he has plans, dave is more likely than not to go "yeah, okay" or at least to let himself be dragged along as he protests and argues the entire way there.

he expects to try to stick to juice (he will go into people's fridges without worrying, whatever) and to chat with people randomly, and maybe if he's lucky there'll be fireworks, since this is supposedly a fourth of july thing?

he does not expect to recognize someone and he does not expect to need the mouth-to-brain filter that only sometimes functions periodically and so he kind of freezes up, points at his best friend and says ]

Dibs. [ louder than expected, although at least some people are drunk enough to just kind of snort and move on.

...rose laughs, pats his arm, and ABANDONS HIM, the lousiest excuse for a twin sister in the world (he would kill and die for her) and dave flounders. ] I mean - shit. Shit, I can't save that one, oh my god. Is there a convenient balcony to fling myself off of.

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You would. I can already feel myself being insanely attracted to you because you are so pretty. [At least this Egbert can still make dumb, deadpan jokes. He's still apparently enjoying himself and likes that Dave will let him say stupid bullshit like this, so. It's fine? But there's a little bit of a laugh because yeah ABOUT THAT...]

Which part do you want to know, why I didn't get powers? I'm still trying to figure that out myself but it was highly disappointing. [No.]

Thank you. I often have problems with people just prostratin' themselves at my feet on account of my good looks. "Mr. Strider!" the feet-prostratin' people say, "Please grace us with your wisdom," and because I'm not Rose I just kinda smirk and keep goin' because you have to be a mystery. The enigmatic confusion is like 99% of the draw. The other 5000% bein' my magnetic hunkism.

[ why ]

Also I want to know why the fuck you got doused in chemical waste or if that's a joke??

99 and 5000 doesn't equal 100...[But he's shaking his head and yeah, okay, he's going to let that go. Whatever, Dave.]

It's not like I did it on purpose! These sort of things just happen sometimes. [On what planet?] This was a couple of years ago, I was sick for a while and then I got better. No cool powers, nothing. But apparently I'm lucky to be alive so maybe that's a superpower itself.

[Oh look. Stars. He's just going to enter the next room which is apparently where it's floor to ceiling stars and constellations rotating on a domed ceiling. Neat.]

My magnetic charm deserves to break stats, my dude.

[ dave trails along like a lost puppy. ]

...You nearly died? [ holy shit. holy shit no that's not okay, even if it was almost, that's unacceptable? ] That kinda thing does not just happen to people, what the fuck.

[ now he's just distressed oops ]

[He doesn't seem to think this is a big deal, Dave following him or John discussing such things. He's busy mapping the stars with his eyes and doesn't quite look him in the face. His shoulders are a little tense but that's about the only difference here.]

I'm okay now. [Like that fixes everything.] Vriska and I didn't know what would happen when we went to the junkyard, it was like a freak accident. [Be less distressed, Dave! At least he didn't die in this lifetime oops.] ...she hit a lever on something and the waste spilled over. We're still not sure if it was because of the skin contact or the fumes, um. [It's easier to joke about it since while he doesn't have the struggles of his morality, it's also kind of morbid.] Anyway...I would not recommend it.

[ holy fucking shit why does vriska serket ruin lives by proxy all the time?? ]

Just...jesus. I wouldn't think you would. Maybe play it safe and keep away from [ VRISKA? ] junkyards for the rest of eternity. It does totally suck you have no superpowers, though.

[And this John is just as clueless about Vriska as he was initially so good luck, everyone. His hands are in his pockets and he's staring at the stars, eyeing them curiously.]

I have no need for junkyards anymore, but the superpowers would have been sweet. I have always wanted to fly. [There's a lull.] Sorry to sort of drop that on you by the way. I guess we're even now.

Are we? I mean, if you want part of my tragic backstory, I guess I can give it to you in trade.

[ dave's watching john, his expression entirely serious - ]

When I was a kid, [ here we go ] I was cursed with beauty beyond compare. Everyone was mad jealous, I couldn't go three minutes without someone fallin' over themselves beggin' me for my number or some dude challengin' me to a duel because my hair was that much more fabulous than his and he couldn't handle it.

[ like

what did u expect ]

[...what if he just hipchecks him into the nearby trash can? Fucker. That doesn't stop him from laughing though, the tension leaving his shoulders and John reverting back to a John Dave knows.]

And you gave me shit for liking Zoolander. Come on.I meant blurting out shit, jackass. Now we're definitely even. [He's watching the stars all the while. He narrows his eyes then, stopping shortly as he stares for a moment before he seems to mumble to himself.] This isn't what it looked like. [Onward he goes.]

[ i mean he can dave will let him and just laugh about it. he kind of peers at the ceiling when john mutters at it but can't. see anything worth complaining about?

- wait. this isn't what it looked like. still - ]

Egbert, everyone and their ma should've been givin' you shit about likin' Zoolander. It is a travesty they did not, but I am here to pick up the slack. Why are you mad at the stars?

Have you ever even seen it? I'm going to make you watch it with me sometime so that you understand and appreciate it for the art that it is. [Bye, Dave. John's still walking slowly with his head craned back to stare above him. The question renders a pensive look though.]

I'm not mad at the stars. I just wonder where they're getting their maps from. [...even that sounds crazy. But looking at them it's hard to shake out another vision of planets and space that he's seen, a long stretch of stars and blurs and lightyears. But that's crazy. He's never been to something like that. And explaining it to Dave would be something he couldn't play off as a joke, he thinks.] I wonder if whoever made them has ever been to space on a dick-rocket, that's all.

I believe they're gettin' them from satellites placed around the universe. [ cautiously. because - yeah, he's pretty sure that's where it's coming from. but there are other universes, with other stars, and the constellations look different from out in space than they do on earth. ] These maps are made to be looked at from here, though. Or sometimes from other planets - specifically the ones in our solar system.

[ not other planets that may or may not have once existed in sburb. ]

Also, I'll watch whatever movies you want with you. I will not promise not to mock them as I do, though.

I guess that makes sense. [A ship. A girl with white dog ears holding five planets in her hands shrunken to the size of grapefruits. A planet of wind, blue and spacious and glowing mushrooms and fireflies and--

Stop. None of that is real and it's simply John's imagination getting away from him. He isn't one to really daydream, not entirely, but it's a fairly clear vision and the universe didn't look like this.

No, correction. This universe looked like this. That other one didn't. So...he says nothing for a moment before he pulls his phone out and takes a picture of the ceiling. He's being quiet about it which is also telling, but he's easily brushing it off shortly after.]

Mock them all you want, Strider. You will see just how awesome my taste is after we hang out more, just wait.

I dunno if I can wait, you're kinda buildin' it up here. You sure the experience will live up to the hype?

[ full southern drawl of mockery, although he eases up on the accent (...to the degree which he can, which is not a huge amount) to ask more cautiously: ]

What're you thinkin' about? Your head's in the clouds, windy boy.

Duh. It's the most amazing experience and you'll see soon enough. I make movie-watching a pure art complete with running commentary. [He flashes a grin, but even then it's not quite as normal. He notes the drawl and his smile twitches into something more genuine even so before it fades completely at the question.]

Windy boy, huh? Is that what they call me around here? [Head in the clouds John Egbert. He shrugs though.] I'm just thinking about space and the planets I've seen. The universe is a big place. [That. Is sort of close enough.]

I dunno, I've never heard about you before today. It's what I specifically am callin' you just now, though. [ for...other reasons. ]

What planets have you seen? [ JOHN YOU WHIMSICAL IDIOT HE CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE REMEMBERING SHIT OR NOT ]

Sure, okay. [He's weirdly comfortable with that and he's not going to explore why. Sorry that your best bro is absolutely a whimsical idiot who's just. Doing his own thing, stopping at a map of the universe and staring at it for a moment.]

You know. Ours, obviously, but there was this one that was blue. Lots of blue. And it was inhabited by really stupid salamanders who tried their best. [He's on the verge of grinning again, "psyche!" on the tip of his tongue but. He can't bring himself to say it. He's mostly waiting to see if Dave just assumes it's a joke on his own and not...something John can see very, very clearly.] Oh and glowing mushrooms. Can't forget those.

The Land of Wind and Shade. [ dave supplies, without hesitation. ] Sounds like the kinda name you'd give that kinda place.

[ you know. because it was the name. dave keeps walking into the next exhibit room - the place is pretty much deserted at this time - with his hands jammed into his pockets. ]

If your windy, whimsical ass hailed from there.

[ but okay. shit. how does he approach this? ]

[Dave has the help of his shades to hide his eyes. John, unfortunately, doesn't and so when Dave delivers the given name he isn't quite fast enough to hide the look of recognition. Of course that's familiar. But why would Dave know that? Better yet, why does John know that?

It doesn't exist. It does exist?

He stops walking when they're in the next exhibit room, ignoring the stragglers exiting for the next portion of the planetarium and giving Dave an unsure look in response.]

You're. Really hung up on this windy thing, aren't you? [The tone goes up a notch, especially because. You know. The windy thing. He rolls his eyes and there's another haphazard smile as he picks up pace again to examine different types of space rocks.] Last time I looked I hailed from Seattle, not Wind and Shade Land. [Internal screaming? Yeah, we're getting there.]

Lowas. [ the shorthand is easier. dave...desperately wishes rose were around to tell him how not to fuck this up. but even if she weren't back at the party, she wouldn't know the words to say, either. mostly because she literally can't notice anything is weird, but - jesus.

okay, take a breath, strider. play it cool. john pulled out the lowas description entirely on his own. he said three years. he's remembering, so he won't think you're crazy as long as you don't act crazy. ]

We can touch the rocks over there, it's allowed? They're not like. Real ones, just notched like it, uh, yeah.

[ THAT'S NOT HELPFUL ? ]

Whatever. [At least his tone sounds light again, equally desperate to move away from the subject because this is kind of freaking him. It doesn't make sense. What's happening to him? This wasn't...no thanks. This isn't normal, he knows that.

So he takes a breath through his nose and he nods, even going as far as to brush past him and touch Dave's wrist to get him to follow. He doesn't understand, but he does know it's better to have Dave with him than let him disappear until he figures this out.]

I would be a little concerned if they brought in real space rocks to touch even if it would be cool. Pieces of meteors and shit. [There's a content little noise as he tries to slide back into calm mode.] Most people don't let me indulge in stupid shit like this. [Exploring stuff. Talking about weird shit. He means all of it, really.]

[ well, dave follows. ]

Like. I'll take you to Chuck E Cheese if you wanna dick around in the ballpit, dude. [ he knows john means more-serious stupid shit, but the offer is open? dave will do literally all the dumbshit? ] Or if you mean museum-exhibit levels of stupid shit, my deep dark secret is I actually fuckin' love museums.

[ maybe it's not a thing he hides, but it sure isn't a thing he leads with. ]

History and science are rad, completely sans irony.

Haha. Aren't you hilarious. [But he makes a mental note of that anyway and plans to hold Dave to it. Once they approach the rocks John immediately shifts his focus, touching and turning everything he can.] I'm sorry to tell you but I do not think that was really something that was a deep dark secret. You're the one who brought up the planetarium first, remember?

And anyway why else would I say yes? [Because there's a weird pull. He's supposed to be here. He's supposed to hang out with Dave, goof off, do stupid things, make each other laugh, make sure Dave is happy--what? He's projecting. He wants Dave to like him for reasons he can't quite fathom and doesn't think to further explore. It just. Makes sense to him.] I thought about being a biology major for a while. Science is on the same tier as space for me.

I thought about so many other options. [ seriously. it's hard to remember the freak out exactly (though it wasn't flipping his lid, just worrying like a normal kid, the last normal thing he ever worried about, really) but his siblings had taken it with good grace. ] Like - paleontology? That was an option. Or music. Maybe math, but I wouldn't really like bein' chained to a desk, even though I know there's lots of math shit you can do not that. I mean - it wouldn't be bad, I just wanted a thing that would let me do...lots of things, I guess?

[ he doesn't bore easy, exactly, but dave strider does like to have things to occupy his time. ]

Did you consider doin' any space shit?

No. [It's not a harsh answer, but just one that he's thought of on and off.] I don't think it would have the same effect if I went from loving space to working with space. It isn't my speciality anyway. ["It's Jade's."

Who the fuck is Jade?]

I think that's why I went with cinematography in the end. I can play with everything I'm interested in folded up in a cool little package for other people to enjoy. It's never the same thing twice and I can combine things until they seem good. Like alchemizing two things that don't belong together into a new genre. But paleontology would have been cool. That's fossils, isn't it?

[He taps on the rock in front of him.] Just another form of history and science combined. How did you decide on...anything?

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