na na na na na batman

[parodeity]

if you give me lyrics i'll put them here. never say i don't sometimes occasionally learn from my mistakes

Comments

[splinten]

It wouldn't be funny. Being nastily nihilistic isn't funny. That's also why it's bad irony.

[parodeity]

Huh. I guess it is nihilistic? My worldview occasionally gets me scolded, so take it with a grain of salt.

[ he doesn't care about higher powers. rose and enough else he holds dear gets slotted into that position, more or less. and he doesn't see a purpose but they do, so it's enough for him. ]

I didn't mean it to be nasty, though. I find it more comfortin' myself to think that the ultimate answer to anything would be a question. What would a good ironic example me, you didn't say.

[splinten]

To the point to all of this shit? You've got me.

[parodeity]

Do you actually have any idea what the point is? Beyond, I'm heavily bettin', somethin' deadly and possibly freedom-destroyin'.

[ that seems Fitting for how dave's days usually go, so he's just assuming. ]

[splinten]

I'm not interested in anything freedom-destroyin'.

[Shit. Why is he talking? It just gives this guy a way in. Dirk pulls back in his seat and shoves his hands into his pocket. He is closed for business stop trying to engage with him.]

[parodeity]

Aren't you? [ mild and without any judgement or taunting. just. kind of odd considering: ] It's somethin' to think about before you follow the yellow brick road exactly as ordered to the end. She doesn't know where it goes yet but my bet is straight to the Wicked Witch.

[splinten]

Do you enjoy being vague and ominous or is it just part of the job?

[What Dirk doesn't say, because he has decided not to, is that this is just a competition. He doesn't expect meaning at the end of this particular tunnel. He expects nothing more than a chance to compete and be better than other people. Breaking into Silverpool meant nothing to him, and neither does anything else of this. He is bored and he wants to compete in a stupid competition and win, because he might as well succeed at something in his garbage life.

He isn't allowed to give up on living so this is one way to fill in his days.]

[parodeity]

...It actually might be part of the job?

[ he never considered this before. like. it's not a requirement but rose and megido and captor all fucking love being vague and ominous? as a team the only person remotely straightforward is jade harley, and she's like, also kind of vague and mysterious sometimes.

john egbert is literally the only entirely non-cagey asshole they have on the team. oops. ]

I mean, I'm also told I'm a cagey asshole by nature, but now that you mention it it's probably a literal job requirement courtesy my boss.

[ because of course rose would make that a criteria for hiring people, dave is sure. ]

Let me know if you figure it out. What's waitin' for you, I mean. Though if we made a bet I'm not sure which of us would win?

[splinten]

I'm not bettin' with you. [Dirk why are you being such a jerk.]

[parodeity]

Which is a good call, because I'm p sure I'll win? [ like. there is no way the entity behind this is 1) not evil and 2) maybe not even human??????????? ]

[splinten]

[Oh right he's being an ass because Dave is annoying. Back to not talking to him, then.]

[parodeity]

[ a flicker of a grin that fades into something more serious. ]

For real, though, if you're the genius you're supposed to be - don't make a choice you can't take back without thinkin' it through. I mean, you can and probably will, but. I think it would've been nice at your age if someone had told me "hey, maybe pause and consider it before you do it" even if I then proceeded to fling myself off a building or whatever.

[splinten]

Protip from, you know, the entire fuckin' history of rhetoric: patronization doesn't go so hot as a persuasive tactic.

[parodeity]

Not tryin' to be. [ a shrug. it occurs to him that he can tap out and tag megido in. he tries to think: what the hell would he have wanted at the age sixteen?

whatever bro wanted, to keep the peace.

unhelpful at best. but it isn't like dave at thirty-something has learned to stop doing that when pressed, really, outside of battle situations. ]

I imagine the answer is yes since you've said so a few times, but I'll ask anyway: you want me to fuck off, right?

[ he'd have to wait until she was in position before ghosting, but - maybe that's what's best for the number. aradia, unlike dave, doesn't get messed up by feelings, and people don't read her as anything at all. it's easy enough to text her while he talks to say they may have to trade jobs.

with a warning the kid can make tails, she'll probably be impossible to spot. she's annoyingly competent like that. ]

[splinten]

I don't trust you to.

[Point blank and sharp and walled off. Angry, in his way.]

You have a promise to The Light Of Your Life, whoever that is. If you did fuck off you'd just use some other way to ghost me. That's the fuckin' point of whatever you're doing, right?

Just fuckin' relax, dude. It's a game. I'm here to win, nothin' else. I'm not going to be heartbroken when the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is just a Billy puppet laughin' in my face.

[parodeity]

If I fuck off, I won't bother you again.

[ no promises about what anyone else would do, but hey. ]

And I've already told you what I'm doin'. I've also warned you it ain't a game, but I can't say more unless you figure it out, so whatever.

[splinten]

How the fuck is it not a game?

[It's making Dirk angry, all this bullshit.] Yeah, there are private-military guys stalkin' me. Whatever, I know why. That doesn't make it any less of a game than it is, it just means the risks are higher.

[parodeity]

Just...pause a second.

[ low-voiced and calm, still. ]

And ask yourself why someone would ask you to steal those files.

[splinten]

To release 'em and wreck Silverpool for their criminal actions. I've got it set up to get to the newspapers when it needs to. That includes if these dumb assholes kill me.

[Meaning Dirk sets ups contingencies for his murder????]

Games like this will target enemies of the instigators sometimes. As long as those are bad people, I consider it a plus.

[parodeity]

Smart. But what if the instigators are worse people?

[ also stop setting up murder contingencies you jackass ]

[splinten]

Then they'll get their comeuppance when someone goes after them. This one, though, would be pretty hard to trace.

[Implying..... that Dirk tried to figure out who it was and found he couldn't.]

It'd be interesting to meet someone on that level.

[parodeity]

[ um ]

When did you try to trace it? [ suddenly, dave is a lot more concerned. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk's eyebrows move up a fraction.]

Why does that matter?

[parodeity]

How long? Did you get hacked back??

[ he's opening up his phone to send some frantic queries @ rose. does he have to be concerned about assassins. more assassins. ANY ASSASSINS.

shit he should stop texting rose if there's any chance they're being watched extra closely. dave's identity can be burned as long as no one else's is, he's fine with that for a given value of fine. ]

[splinten]

[Okay. This is getting interesting.]

Yeah. I ended up destroyin' my computer and bookin' it.

[On the bright side since this is a recruitment method Samaritan probably isn't trying to kill Dirk yet.

When he doesn't give these habits up after joining Samaritan, though...]