so age shenanigans "lucy what do you use your musebox for" nonsense threads and holiday cards

[parodeity]

[ one day dave strider wakes up and the tower isn't familiar or comfortable. it's place he's never been with weird trappings of familiarity. there are things that are clearly his or that he...thinks are his? turntables unfamiliar to him in specific except they're his exact set up. clothes in the closet a little too big for his frame, but the pajamas he'd been wearing are just black pants an a loose t-shirt so those are fine. there's stickers on the top of the bunk bed frame, the bed he woke up in, and some are sbahj. there are pictures pinned places he's mostly ignoring because they're too odd, and it's...

not his bedroom. it's not his apartment. after looking out a window, dave's pretty sure it's maybe not his planet.

which, okay. sburb has only just become a thing and already dave is pretty sure bullshit is par for the course. but a little more warning would have been nice? or any warning at all. the workbench in the room he woke up in is weird and a little unsettling and so dave goes...down the stairs because he hears stuff down there and smells.

food?

that is a weird thing to smell in the morning. what the fuck. he'll kind of peer around the corner with as much caution as he can muster, figuring he doesn't see his own corpse so either this doesn't go sideways at all or it just hasn't yet and - ]

Bro. [ deadpan neutral surprise, because, yeah. that's...no, he's younger, but still. hm. reluctantly, dave stops peering around the corner and drifts further into the room, regarding the kitchen being used as a kitchen with well but not perfectly hidden dismay and concern. ]

Comments

[splinten]

Right now you're in the Andromeda Galaxy. I bet you can do a universe jump pretty easy.

[parodeity]

[ he kind of side-eyes dirk a little because that did not sound like dirk thought it was a bad thing? that dave is solving things weird as fuck? was that approval?????????????

maybe he should try to make his solutions even weirder????????? ]

[splinten]

[If he does what he'll get is

Dirk laughing.]

Dude, that was ridiculous.

[parodeity]

[ holy shit??????????

it's a little like glancing out the window and discovering the sky was always green. or...some other metaphor that makes more sense in context. dave catches himself before he starts staring, uncertain what to do with a completely unambiguous sign of approval.

except, you know, die trying to keep that being a thing that he has unlocked? ]

I bet I could maybe do two universes over.

[ or die trying. there's something very eager and open about that statement, in terms of dave and how he can be. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk almost jumps at it—he loves seeing Dave do wild things—but he looks at Dave and realizes what has happened.

He ruffles Dave's hair in a desperate attempt to diffuse the situation and pretend he isn't scared he messed up.] Go for it if you want, but don't kill yourself tryin', dude. You're always awesome to me.


[now he's like 'shit was the ruffle a miSTAKE']

[parodeity]

[ this is still the twilight zone but dirk is reaching a point of doing so many twilight zone things that dave can't freeze for every new one because he's reached a state of zen acceptance to "holy shit what the fuck".

he. thinks that was nice?

but how does he make sure things stay like this. ]

I can do it. [ reassuring. he can. ] Even if I can't flip me back to whatever.

[splinten]

I don't know if it's your responsibility to flip you back to whatever. You're the Time player, but if it's a planet thing then it probably has to be a planet solution.

It's cool. This is a demand-free zone. Just do what you want to.

[parodeity]

[ dave makes a face. he immediately smooths it out like he's not sure if that's allowed, but. ]

I don't know if I like other people honin' in on my thing.

[splinten]

[THERE IS NO INDICATION OF DISAPPROVAL TOWARDS FACES]

You're tellin' me. My thing is Heart, which you probably don't remember basically means soul. This entire goddamned planet is a giant soul, which includes every fish, flower, and rock. The only things that aren't linked up to its soul are off-planet things. It messes with you.

[parodeity]

Uh, no, I'm only familiar with the base four classes. I mean, the classes we have. And Mind.

[ because terezi. ]

Though it's cool to know there are a zillion made up classes and aspects in sburb as with any other video game.

[splinten]

You guys got classes that made some kind of sense. We got... well, the girls god useful powers. Jane is Maid of Life and Roxy's Rogue of Void. Jake's a Page of Hope and I'm the Prince of Heart, which sounds as stupid as it is.

[parodeity]

What do your duds look like?

[splinten]

Holy shit do they look stupid. I have pantaloons.

[parodeity]

[ ok that sounds dumb as fuck. but. ]

...Can I see?

[ shit maybe he shouldn't have asked but ]

[splinten]

I figured you'd want to. Hang on.

[Dirk goes over to the wardrobe and drags out his terrible clothing. Blah blah wardrobifier idek the point is Dirk pantaloons himself. It is full princely gear.]

You fuckin' lucked out with Knight class. And the Rogue get-up is killer. Everyone in this family got cool outfits but me.

[parodeity]

[ ...................he's trying so hard not to laugh. ]

You look ok. [ FOR ONCE IN HIS SUBNAUTICA LIFE, DAVE DOES NOT PICK > INSULT FASHION SENSE this is probably not thrilling for dirk. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk knows what he has to do.]

Go on. Just say it, dude.

[parodeity]

Say what? I like the colors.

[ he would not even call the squarewave boots ugly rn dirk. ]

[splinten]

You can tell me the game gave me stupid clothing. I know.

[parodeity]

I think they look cool?

[ he would also say if pressed that puppets are probably cool if freaky though ]

[splinten]

[Dirk gestures at them.]

They're pantaloons. With leggings?

[Wait he hopes this doesn't short-circuit Dave by forcing him to argue against his own insults to himself?]

[parodeity]

You can make 'em work.

[ "nah rose puppets are cool" he can do this all day even though it pains him to do this ]

[splinten]

[Dirk is in pain.]

That is definitely not true, but thanks for tryin'.

[Not actually thanks. IT HURTS. This is probably why he changes back to his normal clothes so quickly. Or maybe he just doesn't want to wear pantaloons which. You know, is definitely possible.]

[parodeity]

[ can't dirk magically girl change into the pjs MEENAH AND VRISKA CAN, TOO ]

You really don''t like 'em?

[splinten]

[ISn'T THAT BECAUSE THEY'RE DREAMDEAD? I THOUGHT YOU NEED THE WARDROBIFIER]

They aren't what I'd choose for myself. [Although.] Usually you hate everything I choose for myself so I don't know how much that counts for anythin'.