lucybox | slams hands on table best friends

slams hands on table best friends

[ dave strider ends up choosing cinematography to study because, fuck, why not? it's almost graduation when he finally decides, and it's sort of at random. it's not that he doesn't like video-taping shit (he does) or that he isn't into special effects and sound stuff (he is) but there's a lot of shit dave is into and he wasn't sure how to translate that to college. he loves music; he loves dance; he's really into the film shit and his shitty comics, but he definitely can't do art because the shitty comic quality isn't shitty on accident. but he consults with his siblings and he thinks about it hard and he makes a decision.

and god, it was easier to be excited about that decision before memories and past lives and powers came into play, but it's still kind of cool. dirk hated college but dave likes the idea of it. he likes the routine normality that it seems to suggest, the way he feels kind of grown up and like a half-competent adult when he packs up his shit and heads off to university. it's still in the city so it's not like he's really gone, but it's enough of a distance to allow him to pretend.

these days, somewhat to his surprise, dave wants to pretend. rose doesn't remember a thing about anything going on and his parents probably never will, and it's strange and too much like playing pretend every day to live there. he can't tell them about anything. he can't even tell roxy, because he doesn't want to mention most of the things he knows to anyone. even the tiny things are seeming more and more dangerous, because then it's just a chain of memories, all the way down the line, and eventually they'll all remember the shit he doesn't say, but -

but. well. he can, for now, pretend to be an ordinary kid at college. he has a schedule? he has a mini fridge. he has a room, and he's carefully pinned up a few posters and sorted all his things. he's mindlessly listening to music with his earbuds in when the door opens, and he tracks the movement even behind his shades and sits up. ]

Yo - [ he's absolutely never met the guy who just waltzed into his (their) room but dave absolutely knows him. he reflexively reaches up to adjust his shades. okay. shit. that's john egbert - or...someone? maybe his name is different? but it's john, egderp, the dork who really likes mc...whatever and hates cake and who gave dave these shades, once upon a time, and he's here and really a real live person and ok dave maybe stop staring you're being weird.

shit he's in kindergarten again? how the fuck did you make someone your best friend back then. did you just go up and say "mine" and call dibs? does someone else have dibs???? can dave fight them for dibs -

STILL STARING, DAVE ]

Uh, [ internal screaming ] I'm Dave. Sup.

[ an attempt was made. i guess. ]

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[Today, at least, Dave is sort of spared. John has thousands of questions but he can be patient enough. This is about them in this situation, not about anything else just yet. Whatever he was expecting Dave to say, uh, well it wasn't that. He's been thinking on this for the last few minutes since Dave told him they were friends and the memories started popping in bursts, little blips on his radar that made zero sense but tiny flashbulbs in his head. Sort of like:]

Fireflies. [The planet had been filled with fireflies, but why? Think, damnit, think!] There were a lot of fireflies. And we became gods? [Planets? And again, it's a cascading effect as little things weave together. The salamanders, following the advice of someone (whoever she was) to a slab of stone on his planet, laying down and being put to sleep and...

...oh.

He's silent again. So that's how that happened, then. Even without realizing it his fingers move to trace over the space in his gut where he knows by instinct alone that's how that happened, even if he doesn't know the full extent.]

What did it look like? I never saw the rest of you ascend. That happened elsewhere. ["How much did you see" is the question that he's not asking. He's curious where Dave's psyche lies in all of this and honestly, if Dave's been sitting on this memory for months prior to John showing up no wonder he received the kind of reaction he did.]

[ dave tracks the movement of john's fingers, red eyes steady behind his shades. he did that a few times too, at the start. the bullet wounds, the cuts from bro's sword, scars he doesn't have or didn't keep - it feels sometimes like the wound should still be there, even if he knows none of them will be. ]

What did it look like when you ascended? Or when I did? [ but he gets the unasked for question. ] Like...a million stars converging in the sky. At the time I didn't know exactly what was happenin'. At least, the first time I saw it I didn't know what was happenin'. Some of the later times I saw it I understood.

[ timeloops. ]

It felt beautiful but kind of sad, and I didn't know why.

Edited 2017-05-09 22:49 (UTC)

[He knows there's nothing there. He knows that, but he wonders. A million stars…he can understand that and he almost wishes he could see it for himself. Heh. That would defeat the point though, maybe, and he doesn't think to question the comment about "later times."

Dave Strider and multiple timelines. Multiple Daves. That's familiar, too. It's only when Dave stops describing it that he fills in the one missing piece.]

Because I died, Dave. [Simple, matter-of-fact and blunt in the matters of himself. He doesn't know what it means. Death occurred and he became a god, so obviously he didn't stay dead, but. He thinks maybe that's the strength of their friendship or something weird like that, an instinct knowing something went wrong. Is that possible? He pushes that thought aside for now.] Somehow bright lights make everything prettier even when it's the worst outcome. [There's another pause.] But you didn't know how it worked the first time. How many times did you have to watch it?

I know you did. [ he knows now, he eventually knew one of the myriad thens, but the first time he hadn't and it'd been one of those sburb quirks he hadn't quite gotten yet. at least that death he didn't have to see up close and in person. at least that death he missed out on, except from a distance, unable to do a thing to stop it - even knowing he could have gotten there to see it in person, it was a thing that happened, so -

of course the time player would let it happen, again and again. you can't change what's going to happen. ]

I saw it a few times. [ "a few" without specification. thanks, dave. ] But it was what had to happen. I got that by the time I knew what was goin' on. So.

So you've been sitting here for months with a memory of watching me become a god or whatever after I died in my sleep without me even being in this city. And this is exactly what I'm talking about. I would rather know things and be able to tell someone if they wanted to know what I knew. Even if I don't understand everything you just said or I don't remember how we all really met and what happened to us, I want to make sure. [There's more to that sentence, but he stops. "I want to make sure you're okay" is a hell of a sentence to say to someone you just met, past-life best bro or not.]

So then…do you think that's what happened to us? We died and now we're back here and starting over? That's a thing time does right? I don't feel like a god.

...I mean, I've had worse. [ memories. he says it blankly and without thinking, like that makes it better. he's seen too many people die (he's killed someone) and he barely registers it as a thing he might need help with because to dave the more pertinent thing is gotta protect people from it. ]

But what I think - I don't know. If it were just us I'd say it was a fuckin' paradox space thing - it'll make no sense to you later - or somethin' went wrong at the very end, but it isn't just us. There are people from...other worlds, I think. I said once it was different "genres", but different groups of people have overlappin' memories with one another and not other people, about worlds that seem, from what I gather, pretty different. So it can't be just a thing that happened because of us, or because of what went down there. It has to be big enough to have pulled in all these other people, too.

Okay. But that doesn't change what I just said--wait, what do you mean? [What. That's. He's not sure what's scarier about that, the fact that Dave's been sitting on worse memories that John has zero frame of reference for or that he's relayed such a fact like it's just that. Fact. Normal. Fine.

…if he wasn't already concerned, he sure is now.]

The only word I understood from all of that was "paradox" and even that I don't understand. That's implying that there are multiple worlds that something happened and the people here were chosen for some reason which is pretty crazy. We each had our own planets, but just how many worlds could really exist?

[ > dave: CHOOSE TO WILDLY MISINTERPRET THAT QUESTION TO REFER TO THE SECOND HALF OF JOHN'S STATEMENT, RATHER THAN THE THING YOU SAID ABOUT HAVING WORSE MEMORIES ]

I think it's more than worlds, maybe. What I mean is [ haha he knows john didn't mean this ] alternate universes. Like...come on, you've gotta be a nerd still. You read comics, right? You know how they retcon shit sometimes, or visit alternate realities? I think that people are maybe from different universes, only now we're all in the same one, for some reason. And I think there's probably some bullshit science theory that will back me up on the possibilities of those bein' endless, because that sounds like something science would back me up on.

[What the fuck okay. Maybe he was right and Dave really is sort of an obtuse motherfucker, but John knows better. Calling Dave on it or backtracking on that subject wouldn't go well, and he doesn't think it's something to broach. It's just going to be something to keep in mind for now.

On the other hand, he makes a face.]

I am not! [He says, as there's a small pile of manga + assorted comics sitting next to him. RIP John.] But yeah, I know what you mean, but those are comics. We are not comics. So this city is basically everybody's crossover special? Infinite universes based on bullshit science also sounds like a comic book thing.

[Hm.] But then you have to wonder what actually happened to everyone else's universe. Do you think they survived at all?

[ dave is 100% a cagey obtuse motherfucker rest in fucking pieces, john. it takes actual level grinding to pin him down on shit. ]

I don't know. I mean, we're a special case there probably because we like...my vague understandin', with the knowledge I am missin' shit, is that we wrecked our universe and hopped one sideways, and then also maybe left that one? I do not think everyone else had a situation in which playin' hopscotch with universes was a thing they did, however.

also: ] I can literally see your comic collection directly next to you, so your argument that you are not a nerd is not holdin' much water, here.

[Ugh. Good thing he's officially here for the long haul, hello, Dave.]

I'm not even going to begin to wonder what the fuck we did to wreck our own universe. Nope. Nothing. This is me definitely not wondering. [THAT SURE IS ALARMING. But also he's just going to move his hand to scoot the comics out of sight while glaring just a bit.] So all right, whatever we did in our universe is very different, but we're all here in this one with a bunch of other people whose universes also are a thing that exist. Because of this social media app. [A pause.] ...how stupid does that sound when I say it out loud?

Super stupid. Like, 200 out of 10 stupid. Get used to that? Because like, it's been over half a year for me and I still have not figured out a way to explain this to newbies that isn't like "hahaha how crazy can I sound today". If you think of somethin' on that note, lemme know? Because we have got to hit on somethin' not crazy at some point. Or somethin'...less ridiculous?

[ like, they usually BUY IT because horses and shit but.

please. ]

Maybe you should put together like a powerpoint or something with examples of all of this weird shit. People like to listen to powerpoints? [A shrug. He looks up at the ceiling.] Better yet you could do an instructional video or something. Step one: don't panic when your new roommate knows weird intimate details about you, it's probably because you were bros in some former lifetime.

I love powerpoints. [ perking up. ] Like, with comic sans and mspaint gifs and maybe some shitty animations?

[ no ]

And like, adverts promisin' glow in the dark shit that don't exist.

[ don't let this happen ]

Whatever you want. [If Dave wants to make a really shitty powerpoint presentation with bells and whistles and spinny comic sans banners, that's fine. John will support him on that. This is the unfortunate price of friendship.]

Maybe that's what your next mix should be for. A soundtrack for the powerpoint of the rest of our lives.

Are you gonna play piano for the track?

[ he was 100% serious about wanting to do musical bullshit with john, apparently. ]

Sure, I guess I can. [Knowing what he knows now he's a little less weirded out Dave just happened to know that.] How do you even know if I'm any good at it though?

You used to send me music all the time. I can play you one of 'em if you want. I mean - well, we'd need a piano, or a keyboard -

[ because he remembers those songs, sort of. ]

[Somehow he can see that this is a shift to a better topic and he latches onto it, sitting upright again and glancing for the door.]

Just because that John was good at it doesn't mean I am. [Shut the fuck up, Egbert. He won't elaborate just yet, somewhat cautious about it for a reason.] Like I said there should be a music department on campus. We could go for a walk and head over there? They must have practice rooms or something and a piano to use.

[ there's something there, something john isn't saying. but dave doesn't push it, because holy fuck is there like an ocean of things he never says. he just nods, and stands up, pushing off the chair. ]

Doesn't matter if you're good or not, really. I just remember - [ well. ] I always wanted to do a jam session in person. Didn't matter what the skill level was. You could pick up a triangle and smack it if that's where you're at. But I always wanted to do it in person.

[It's not important to this anyway, not really. Not when the whole point is to give Dave some comfortable ground to stand on. Idly, he flexes his fingers a bit before he rises from the bed and turns for the door, gesturing for Dave to follow.]

We'll do this in person then. But I hate to disappoint you, I don't know shit about playing a triangle. [He grins.] Did we all do that a lot? Music swaps and stuff. We must have been close if we were sending presents and things. [It's a feeling a little like nostalgia. He likes it, he thinks.] We never had time for just hanging out in person, did we?

Edited 2017-05-10 06:29 (UTC)

Nah. I mean, we lived really far apart, I think. I recognized the skyline - I lived in Houston. But - also, after a certain point, I don't remember you and Jade for a while. There's a lot of time with just Rose.

[ the meteor. he remembers why, kind of, but he doesn't entirely get why john and jade were elsewhere. ]

I think we kinda got screwed over in the hangouts department.

I don't remember any of that. Not the way you do? I think I may have written a letter to you but I don't remember anything it said or what was happening. [It's blank from there. He has their room keys and out the door they go, heading for the exit of the dorm to walk across campus.]

I think it's time to make it up then. It's sort of exciting, isn't it? Even if we didn't have past lives together we would be sharing a room and hanging out anyway. It's like fate or something. And maybe if Rose spends time with us and Jade she'll remember, too.

Even if she doesn't, hangin' out with Rose is...mostly relaxing.

[ not being able to tell her shit? kills dave slowly. but he always finds spending time with his sister...necessary. maybe not easy, maybe harder than it used to be, but it is a vital component of his life.

dave glances back at the door as they leave. yeah. both names on the door. he is an idiot. ]

But I am pretty much down to spend time with you and the girls in any combination in any way.

Mostly. [He's leading the way, not at all bothered by everything around them and even waving to a few people they pass in the halls on their way out.] Once school starts, I think it would be fun. I'll even keep the whole memories thing out of the conversation unless one of them brings it up first.

[He will probably fail at that.] ...now that this is all out there, I want to know. Do you want to make things like how they were in your old life? Or are we starting from scratch even knowing we knew each other?

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