whatever

[parodeity]

EPISODE 1: meeting
EPISODE 2: the latvian mob
EPISODE 3: a concussion
EPISODE 4: bench talk
EPISODE 5: break-in

[ what would someone following the number connected to dave strider notice during recon? well.

dave strider, thirteen, gangly and edging on getting taller but way too skinny, angular and bony in a way that says he could stand to eat more food more often. he constantly wears shades. he equally constantly wears long-sleeved shirts and jeans in the houston heat. dave is too careful to ever let that shirt ride up enough to show what's underneath, and he never lets his shades get jostled off his face in public.

the kid has more of an online presence than his brother. he runs a webcomic with an avant garde sense of style and some truly disturbing strips that occasionally seem to correspond with times his number has come up; he sells shit on the site sometimes, t-shirts or book compilations or keychains. the money isn't saved but tends to get spent on groceries. he trolls internet forms at random but does seem to speak regularly to at least three other kids, and has for at least three years. these conversations are all mostly superficial even though the kids are close. the deepest he ever gets in them is with rose lalonde, who lives in new york. sometimes they talk about his dreams.

to each of them he only has positive things to say about his brother, whom he idolizes.

the other half of his computer use seems to go to online school, which dave does all right on. he only occasionally misses deadlines, but more frequently turns shit in ahead of time. he participates haphazardly on the forums as required, but aside from an odd sense of humor and a decent grasp on the subjects, he doesn't say anything worth reading.

following dave in person is harder. he doesn't leave the apartment often except to go to the store, or occasionally the library. he has hung out in the park once or twice but always goes home the second his cellphone buzzes with a text. his interactions with other people are limited; he's polite and casually friendly and charming to the grocery store employees and the librarian, and he doesn't turn people away when they talk to him exactly, but he never discusses anything of note and always excuses himself pretty quickly. dave doesn't like to be touched and doesn't let it happen, never needing to flinch back because he moves faster than that, and doesn't let himself get in the position where someone will try to touch him.

at the store he gets apple juice and bread and peanut butter. or junk food that keeps longer, kept at the back of his closet. nothing he has to refrigerate or heat up. at the library he gets art and film books or photography collections or comics or shit like my teacher is an alien or animorphs or pretty much anything. he doesn't usually check them out to go back home, unless it's a thing for school. when he signs his name on anything it's a careful angular scrawl and he likes to do it in red - dave always keeps a red pen in his pockets. at the park he tends to sit on a bench with good sightlines and sometimes he'll feed birds bits of torn bread and sometimes he'll scroll through shit on his phone (tumblr, random sites, pesterchum) but mostly he just kind of sits there and listens to music.

he downloads a lot of music. sometimes he mixes up new shit and uploads it, sending it to his friends or occasionally just keeping it to himself. dave maintains some social media accounts but is weird about them. there are disjointed quotes or phrases and oddly angled pictures and he seems to treat them like some sort of joke only he gets, but he's almost dedicated to them like he doesn't seem to be to a lot of shit. there's a blog he used to update but doesn't any longer about tony hawk and other things and every glimpse into his mind through his words is unclear and a little off.

a lot of the time he seems to be in the apartment alone. he isn't always, despite appearances, and he knows it. there's a ton of surveillance equipment inside the apartment and dave treats the cameras and recording devices with a casual weariness and wariness. his brother is constantly monitoring both dave and the equipment; fucking with that would probably be a bad idea for anyone paying attention, but it might be possible to jack some of those frequencies, if you're careful.

inside the apartment he mostly stays in his room. when he comes out he's nervous and cautious but nothing ever shows on his face. even in the sanctity of his own room this is true; dave doesn't emote when he can help it and even when he jumps when a trap goes off, his expression doesn't change an iota. when he speaks his voice is low and too-texan, but he doesn't usually unless he's outside of the apartment and has to. there is no point, since his brother seems disinterested in speaking to the kid. he rambles in his interactions with other people online but in person always cuts them short, seemingly uncomfortable with talking for too long.

the one activity that takes up most of his time, however, is training. at any hour of the day or night dave might be called to the roof. bro owns the entire building, and no one has ever called in anything about the striders. if they have, it was taken care of quickly and quietly and nothing ever got to the people who might have done something with it. bro watches everything and this is how things go: dave goes up the stairs with a sword in hand and once he's at the top it starts and then it keeps going until it's over. sometimes it goes on past that. it can take hours on end or only a few minutes, and there isn't any way to predict which it's going to be. eventually dave's left alone and he lies on the roof for a bit until he picks himself up and goes back inside the apartment. he patches himself up quickly and efficiently and doesn't complain at all. the most he has ever done is inform john egbert he got his ass kicked, and john assumed dave was exaggerating like dave always does.

here's another thing to notice: dave strider is used to being watched. he's paranoid about it, trying to read from every tiny clue in his life what will happen next and coming up blank. so when there's an extra pair of eyes he notices after a few hours, and he doesn't like the feeling. he picks himself up off the roof and ignores a broken wrist and too many cuts to count and probably a few cracked ribs in order to lean over the edge of the railing, eyes scanning surrounding buildings with a tense little frown.

it's pointless to tell bro. it might be bro. is he supposed to confront the change or ignore it? it's impossible to tell when bro wants him to roll with something or dig his heels in, and if he can't figure it out quick before the inscrutable time limit runs out, bro will probably be disappointed. and also maybe mad? it's hard to tell if bro ever gets mad or anything else at all, but dave would like to avoid that eventuality and measure up, so...

so.

right.

he can't spot who might be watching him but he didn't expect to. he can never spot bro in the apartment, either. so maybe he needs to change the location? maybe this is counter-surveillance training. it's not the usual so it has to be something else, after all. he's too tired to think it through but that doesn't really matter because there's probably a time limit and he shouldn't be too tired for it so he can't be.

the next day dave will completely disregard his usual daily schedule and leave the apartment. his injuries are taken care of even if he's oddly careful about his wrist, a makeshift brace involving a wrist watch making it casual. dave can always make his walk seem easy and relaxed no matter what he's hiding. he doesn't go to any of his usual locations. instead he goes to the movie theater, wastes precious grocery money on a ticket for a random action movie, and immediately ditches through an emergency exit in the theater once he's zipped in.

he loiters around out of sight to see if he can catch anyone coming out after him.

there are a dozen other little trips and traps like that planned if his simple first-ditch effort doesn't work as he zigzags around the city with absolutely no gameplan, testing the waters to see what comes up. there's no possibility of waiting for probably-bro to explain himself, because bro doesn't do explanations. so. time to figure out the rules as best he can and hope it's what he's supposed to be doing.

the lack of any ominous texts to his phone is either encouraging or terrifying. dave can't be fucked to figure out which it is, exactly. ]

Comments

[parodeity]

[ like, this is not an absurd concern? dave absolutely would try to abscond. how many flights up is this because he would definitely go out a window if possible or necessary? please refer to: how he escaped dirk the first time for like five minutes.

he actually thinks about the second question, even though he looks antsy and hasn't touched the apple slices. he drinks the water, though. ]

I'm fine. I mean, I don't feel like I did yesterday. [ ...and gives that answer. he kind of has a headache but at least he doesn't feel like he's going to throw up and his sight isn't blurring? dizziness is. yes. but also he hasn't eaten more than a few banana slices in...two days or something now uh ]

[splinten]

Improvement and a full recovery aren't the same thing, dude. Headache, dizziness, nausea.

[parodeity]

...I don't have any nausea. And I can't stay here until I recover - how long does that even take with this kinda thing? I need to go home.

[splinten]

[That confirms headache and dizziness.]

I won't hold you here against your will. That'd be kidnapping. [It's already kidnapping THE KID HAS BEEN NAPPED.] And you're right that recovery can take a while. I'd like it if you stayed at least until the dizziness passed to minimize the chances of a second concussion.

[parodeity]

I dunno if the dizziness is related. [ since, like. ] It's not exactly unusual.

[splinten]

We won't know until you eat.

[yeah he made some safe guesses]

[parodeity]

[ he will. eat a single solitary apple slice ok. ]

Have you eaten anythin' since I got here?

[splinten]

A couple oranges.

[whoops]

[parodeity]

Shouldn't you eat somethin', then?

[ YOU CAN'T THROW ROCKS IN A GLASS HOUSE ]

[splinten]

[Yes. He can. He will bring the whole house down on them both.]

It almost sounds like we should eat breakfast together or something instead of being idiots and starving ourselves.

[parodeity]

I'm not starvin' myself.

[ HE IS JUST...being recalcitrant about accepting so much assistance from someone else. the prior starving himself was more due to not having food on hand than anything else, ok? ]

But if you are it's def a sign I should get outta here.

[splinten]

[Nngh. That is not what Dirk wants.]

I don't eat a lot normally. It's why Crocker always comes after me with baked goods. [Also, she's Jane.]

[parodeity]

Yeah, well, same.

[ though less by. choice? than dirk apparently? ]

Technically you can live longer not eatin' than you can not drinkin'.

[splinten]

I'm aware.

[he probably has a stupid cia story about starving to death]

[parodeity]

If I eat breakfast you will?

[ he super doesn't want to mostly because "how do i pay any of this back" but every time he mentions that dirk just says jake will foot the bill. which does not assuage dave's concerns but he can predict that is exactly what dirk will come out with, again, if he expresses discomfort? ]

[splinten]

You don't want to. [Which. He'd like to be bossy on, but.] I'm not gonna slash your abscond button in two. If you don't want to eat, you're probably going to get yourself killed, but I won't twist your arm on it.

[parodeity]

I don't like takin' shit I can't pay back. And you're not lettin' me.

[ pay it back somehow. he doesn't see what he's contributing to the equation here. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk doesn't agree to the basic premise. Dave shouldn't have to pay him back. But Dirk's philosophical disagreement is not going to change how Dave feels.]

Okay. How do you want to pay me back?

[parodeity]

I got some cash.

[ ...because otherwise he isn't sure what he has to offer? it's not like dirk needs a thirteen year old kid sticking his nose into cases on the regular or anything. ]

If I can cover what all you used on me that'd be fine.

[splinten]

That is an option. [It isn't one that Dirk likes. Dave does not have a lot of money, and he needs it for basic necessities. As long as Dave is under his Bro's roof, Dirk doesn't want his cash.]

Alternatively, what if you work for us? The pay's enough to cover everything, and you already know enough that you'd be an asset to the team.



[dirk's number just came up because somewhere jane sensed he needs to be killed]

[parodeity]

[



that is not remotely what dave expected dirk to say, what the fuck. ]

Does your team even know wtf I know? [ he is. saying acronyms again stop this child ] What would you even have me do? I thought you didn't want me near that shit mostly.

[splinten]

I can fill them in. [He's going to get killed.] I'd prefer if you didn't go near that kind of thing, but if you're insistent on payin' me back, then that's one way to do it.

[parodeity]

I'm still not clear on what you think I'd be doin' in this frankly kind of insane scenario?

[ if he starts deviating from his usual schedule, such as it is that much...

well, bro might notice.

dave's unsure if bro would care, but he feels like maybe the guy would. if he's been paying off cps and intimidating neighbors just to keep their life on the downlow, dave hanging out with a bunch of adults would probably not pass whatever algorithm bro used to okay his personal activities. ]

[splinten]

You might not have noticed, but grifting isn't my specialty. I think you could make up for that lack. You can handle yourself in a combat situation and have a good read on people, so you wouldn't be a liability.

[This is dangerous and bad and Dirk knows he should not bring Dave into it. A voice, which sounds a lot like Jane, is telling him not to do this. But Dirk wants this kid in his life. He wants Dave away from his brother as much as possible, he wants him given a stable means of accessing food, he wants him to have people who will be able to help him and protect him. He wants Dave to have a pet cat.

He doesn't know how to back down when he wants something this way.]

[parodeity]

[ it's a terrible idea. dave breathes out, slow. ]

I'm already pushin' it bein' here today. Last night?? This long. But I'll owe you one job or somethin'. For this.

[ he adds: ]

You should try dressin' different. That can grift for you sometimes.