whatever

[parodeity]

EPISODE 1: meeting
EPISODE 2: the latvian mob
EPISODE 3: a concussion
EPISODE 4: bench talk
EPISODE 5: break-in

[ what would someone following the number connected to dave strider notice during recon? well.

dave strider, thirteen, gangly and edging on getting taller but way too skinny, angular and bony in a way that says he could stand to eat more food more often. he constantly wears shades. he equally constantly wears long-sleeved shirts and jeans in the houston heat. dave is too careful to ever let that shirt ride up enough to show what's underneath, and he never lets his shades get jostled off his face in public.

the kid has more of an online presence than his brother. he runs a webcomic with an avant garde sense of style and some truly disturbing strips that occasionally seem to correspond with times his number has come up; he sells shit on the site sometimes, t-shirts or book compilations or keychains. the money isn't saved but tends to get spent on groceries. he trolls internet forms at random but does seem to speak regularly to at least three other kids, and has for at least three years. these conversations are all mostly superficial even though the kids are close. the deepest he ever gets in them is with rose lalonde, who lives in new york. sometimes they talk about his dreams.

to each of them he only has positive things to say about his brother, whom he idolizes.

the other half of his computer use seems to go to online school, which dave does all right on. he only occasionally misses deadlines, but more frequently turns shit in ahead of time. he participates haphazardly on the forums as required, but aside from an odd sense of humor and a decent grasp on the subjects, he doesn't say anything worth reading.

following dave in person is harder. he doesn't leave the apartment often except to go to the store, or occasionally the library. he has hung out in the park once or twice but always goes home the second his cellphone buzzes with a text. his interactions with other people are limited; he's polite and casually friendly and charming to the grocery store employees and the librarian, and he doesn't turn people away when they talk to him exactly, but he never discusses anything of note and always excuses himself pretty quickly. dave doesn't like to be touched and doesn't let it happen, never needing to flinch back because he moves faster than that, and doesn't let himself get in the position where someone will try to touch him.

at the store he gets apple juice and bread and peanut butter. or junk food that keeps longer, kept at the back of his closet. nothing he has to refrigerate or heat up. at the library he gets art and film books or photography collections or comics or shit like my teacher is an alien or animorphs or pretty much anything. he doesn't usually check them out to go back home, unless it's a thing for school. when he signs his name on anything it's a careful angular scrawl and he likes to do it in red - dave always keeps a red pen in his pockets. at the park he tends to sit on a bench with good sightlines and sometimes he'll feed birds bits of torn bread and sometimes he'll scroll through shit on his phone (tumblr, random sites, pesterchum) but mostly he just kind of sits there and listens to music.

he downloads a lot of music. sometimes he mixes up new shit and uploads it, sending it to his friends or occasionally just keeping it to himself. dave maintains some social media accounts but is weird about them. there are disjointed quotes or phrases and oddly angled pictures and he seems to treat them like some sort of joke only he gets, but he's almost dedicated to them like he doesn't seem to be to a lot of shit. there's a blog he used to update but doesn't any longer about tony hawk and other things and every glimpse into his mind through his words is unclear and a little off.

a lot of the time he seems to be in the apartment alone. he isn't always, despite appearances, and he knows it. there's a ton of surveillance equipment inside the apartment and dave treats the cameras and recording devices with a casual weariness and wariness. his brother is constantly monitoring both dave and the equipment; fucking with that would probably be a bad idea for anyone paying attention, but it might be possible to jack some of those frequencies, if you're careful.

inside the apartment he mostly stays in his room. when he comes out he's nervous and cautious but nothing ever shows on his face. even in the sanctity of his own room this is true; dave doesn't emote when he can help it and even when he jumps when a trap goes off, his expression doesn't change an iota. when he speaks his voice is low and too-texan, but he doesn't usually unless he's outside of the apartment and has to. there is no point, since his brother seems disinterested in speaking to the kid. he rambles in his interactions with other people online but in person always cuts them short, seemingly uncomfortable with talking for too long.

the one activity that takes up most of his time, however, is training. at any hour of the day or night dave might be called to the roof. bro owns the entire building, and no one has ever called in anything about the striders. if they have, it was taken care of quickly and quietly and nothing ever got to the people who might have done something with it. bro watches everything and this is how things go: dave goes up the stairs with a sword in hand and once he's at the top it starts and then it keeps going until it's over. sometimes it goes on past that. it can take hours on end or only a few minutes, and there isn't any way to predict which it's going to be. eventually dave's left alone and he lies on the roof for a bit until he picks himself up and goes back inside the apartment. he patches himself up quickly and efficiently and doesn't complain at all. the most he has ever done is inform john egbert he got his ass kicked, and john assumed dave was exaggerating like dave always does.

here's another thing to notice: dave strider is used to being watched. he's paranoid about it, trying to read from every tiny clue in his life what will happen next and coming up blank. so when there's an extra pair of eyes he notices after a few hours, and he doesn't like the feeling. he picks himself up off the roof and ignores a broken wrist and too many cuts to count and probably a few cracked ribs in order to lean over the edge of the railing, eyes scanning surrounding buildings with a tense little frown.

it's pointless to tell bro. it might be bro. is he supposed to confront the change or ignore it? it's impossible to tell when bro wants him to roll with something or dig his heels in, and if he can't figure it out quick before the inscrutable time limit runs out, bro will probably be disappointed. and also maybe mad? it's hard to tell if bro ever gets mad or anything else at all, but dave would like to avoid that eventuality and measure up, so...

so.

right.

he can't spot who might be watching him but he didn't expect to. he can never spot bro in the apartment, either. so maybe he needs to change the location? maybe this is counter-surveillance training. it's not the usual so it has to be something else, after all. he's too tired to think it through but that doesn't really matter because there's probably a time limit and he shouldn't be too tired for it so he can't be.

the next day dave will completely disregard his usual daily schedule and leave the apartment. his injuries are taken care of even if he's oddly careful about his wrist, a makeshift brace involving a wrist watch making it casual. dave can always make his walk seem easy and relaxed no matter what he's hiding. he doesn't go to any of his usual locations. instead he goes to the movie theater, wastes precious grocery money on a ticket for a random action movie, and immediately ditches through an emergency exit in the theater once he's zipped in.

he loiters around out of sight to see if he can catch anyone coming out after him.

there are a dozen other little trips and traps like that planned if his simple first-ditch effort doesn't work as he zigzags around the city with absolutely no gameplan, testing the waters to see what comes up. there's no possibility of waiting for probably-bro to explain himself, because bro doesn't do explanations. so. time to figure out the rules as best he can and hope it's what he's supposed to be doing.

the lack of any ominous texts to his phone is either encouraging or terrifying. dave can't be fucked to figure out which it is, exactly. ]

Comments

[splinten]

[It's a repeat number. English had warned him of that: this one had come up before, he'd done what surveillance he could, but that was before your time, Strider, and it'd be a doozy of a task to rescue that particular youngster, not something he can do in a right state like this. Jake handed him the files he already had and all the basic assessment. The conclusion made Dirk's blood boil.

Child abuse. Attempts to contact authorities deflected. Number will find it difficult to adapt.

So Dirk does his goddamned job and tracks the kid. Only English's warnings keep him from throwing himself through the front door and taking down the guardian himself: the guardian (Dirk scoffs at the term and doesn't entirely buy 'brother' as the actual situation) is extremely capable both technologically and physically. English ends up coming with him to watch the rooftop fight. He claims it's the only way he can be sure Dirk won't run in there and get himself or the number killed. When Dirk sees the fight, he realizes that English is right on both counts: Dirk can't win against this guy if he rushes in unprepared, and knowing that would not have stopped him from interceding if English weren't here to potentially be at risk.

Okay, so the direct approach is out. Fine. He'll go oblique. Surveillance is always step one, so they'll surveil. Happy, English?

He spends the night going through transcripts from the kid's conversations, browsing the archives of his sites and his blogs and everything else. He watches the feeds Lalonde managed to dig up and manages not to break a single cup of orange juice that English insists on bringing him throughout the course of this marathon in things that make him want to double check the policy on whether or not they kill people. He's pretty sure they're allowed to kill people who really need to be dead.

For once, English does not remind him that their preference is against extrajudicial killings. He just reminds Dirk that their priority is protecting the number, not avenging him.

So it's on as much sleep as ever that Dirk starts following the kid. He warns English immediately that the usual routine has been disrupted; anomalies are always bad in their line of work. He automatically tracks where the injury is and vanishes himself into the Houston crowd. Money on a movie ticket alarms him. He isn't against this kid having fun, but that is not routine. Dirk risks dipping in a moment later and then he's gone.

What the fuck, Dirk says, This kid's using counter-surveillance tactics. English, where's his phone?
Omg! Di-Stri just got made by a kid! It's Lalonde instead of English. Dirk can't even object to the teasing when she gives him the tracking and it shows that his phone is still in the area. Did he duck into a cinema? Roxy's security rips show he slipped out one of the emergency exits.

—And he hasn't made me yet. That's for his pride, as he slips back outside and scales a fire escape. If this kid is onto him, he can't take the usual route. Roxy chimes in over his earpiece, You're way too Batman, D, and Dirk retorts that she should stop playing Oracle and stick to Catwoman. Also, he's on the roof trying to see if he can catch sight of their number in the area outside the exit.]

[parodeity]

[ dave's there but he's positioned himself out of line of sight of the door. the roof might work to catch him, though there's literally nothing in his expression or demeanor to explain what he's up to. he's leaning against the wall, legs crossed at the ankle, his phone out as he scrolls through his feed.

he gives it ten minutes before he decides it's a failure. so...either he's not being followed (unlikely) or he gave himself away somehow or the other person is better at this than he is. dave does not let himself look up or around.

his phone buzzes but it isn't bro. ]

TT: I get the feeling you aren't paying attention to me at all, Dave.
TG: sorry
TG: i might have to stop talking for a bit
TG: but im not sure if im gonna or not
TG: do you think that the upper tiers of the irony ninja like
TG: require you to ignore rules on the lower ones?
TG: because of irony
TG: like you can only become a true master if you look at the rules to being one and go
TG: eh
TG: fuck that noise
TG: i am the master its me i HASS the mastery
TG: i know you dont get it just whats your opinion on the matter
TT: My opinion is that you've already decided what it is you're going to do next.
TT: I don't know why you persist in asking me for advice on what to do when you immediately proceed to simply do whatever you were going to do to start with.
TG: just psyching myself up mostly
TT: Then you may as well hear the rest of my opinion: I believe in making my own rules.
TG: rose i know this already
TG: EVERYONE knows this
TG: anyway i think im gonna do the thing
TG: so ill probably talk to you later but im not for sure on that
TG: yolo
TT: What does that mean?
TT: I'm suddenly quite certain we haven't discussed whatever it is you're speaking about deeply enough if you're not certain we're going to speak later.
TG: yolo
TT: Strider.
TG: later lalonde its been real

[ he blocks rose on pesterchum then blocks jade and john for good measure in case she tries to circumvent it and signs out of it, kicking off the wall to head out of the alley and back onto the streets. dave's eyes are stubbornly locked to his phone as he closes and opens various apps with no apparent rhyme or reason. he emails himself a few random snapshots.

the next stop is the houston museum of natural science. there's an exhibit on mummies so that's cool, not a complete waste of money on a ticket (it feels like a complete waste of money on a ticket but whatever dave's pretty sure that will cease to matter if he's wrong about his next few moves) and the kid actually goes and stares at mummies. he attends a lecture on life on mars, which is cool, he supposes.

he goes into the restroom and does not come out. weird! ]

[splinten]

[The kid starts moving again after ten minutes. Either he had an appointment or he really was trying to tail him. Dirk slips back down onto the streets and into the crowds, keeping a careful distance. He didn't expect to need to use his best surveillance tactics on a thirteen year old. (Roxy teases him about it but he knows exactly why she's here. She must've gotten the files from English, and now she's just as invested as they are.) He's grateful Roxy's playing ground control right now; a few quips from English let him know Lalonde is using her hacking expertise to help him up with the kid.

English updates him on the phone activity and the conversations on Pesterchum. It makes Dirk wince. Then our number is mistakin' me for his perpetrator. It isn't his ideal for how to initiate this situation. Extraction is going to be a pain in the ass.

Museum trip. If he's going to pull the same stunt Dirk wants cameras immediately. Roxy starts biting into them but it isn't instant and by the time she has them, Dave has been in the bathroom for a few minutes.

He requests an update from Lalonde on camera feeds and asks English to get him a schematic. Are there any windows out of that room? Do the camera feeds show anything inside or on the exterior of the building? What's the phone data telling them?

Jesus Christ he does not remember the last time they had so much trouble with a number. The fucking FBI was not this much of a hassle.]

[parodeity]

[ there isn't a window in the bathroom! the phone data indicates the phone is currently in one of the stalls. wow, much amaze. of course, dave isn't in the stall with his phone. considering he never lets the thing out of his sight (it has his music and also bro could text at any second) this is probably fairly troubling. the fun thing about certain ceilings is that they're tiled. if you're small and light enough, and if you're damn good at acrobatics, it's possible to get up into the ceiling. or into the vents. museums need good ventilation, and man are there vents!

this stunt is less dangerous because dave might hurt himself in the vents or ceilings (he doubts this is possible, even climbing around with a broken wrist) and moreso because bro could text him and he won't get the message. that's the calculated risk that merited a sucidial yolo to rose, because misjudging what's expected of him here could be bad. dave's not actually sure what happens if he doesn't get his ass home the second bro texts, and has never really been interested in finding out.

unfortunately, bro is a fucking computer genius and dave's pretty sure that if he wants to evade him or catch him at it, he has to lose the phone.

so far there's nothing on the cameras. they don't have them in the bathroom or in the ceilings, weirdly, and dave hasn't dropped out yet because mostly he's trying to see if anyone, you know, is following him before he attempts to flee the museum entirely. so he's just going to wait here a bit longer surveilling his phone in the bathroom, thanks.

that said, he'll completely ditch the phone even if nothing happens because may as well fucking commit.

yolo ]

[splinten]

[Okay, the kid isn't showing signs of movement but the cameras aren't showing everything. Dirk curses them for not putting cameras in the bathrooms and Roxy quips back but Jake recommends that they not lose the number here. While they could regroup and return to his home, the erratic behaviour is too worrying to just abandon. Time to play ball.

So Dirk does slip into the washroom. He slips into the bathroom and gently pushes open the available stalls until he sees the phone. He affects the appearance of a concerned citizen picking it up and pocketing it as anyone would, to return to lost and found.

Of course, Dirk does not actually look like a concerned citizen. He can slip into a crowd but when he's on his own there is always something off about him for anyone who knows what to look for: a battle readiness, the appearance of someone always prepared to be tossed into a fight. When he steps out of the stall to ask the people washing their hands, "Hey, anyone leave behind a phone?" he turns around to scan the area for any signs of where the kid might have gone. Only English's warning keeps him from kicking in stalls.]

[parodeity]

[ welp. that sure isn't bro, even if the guy looks similar. it isn't like bro has ever been super clear about any relations they might or might not have, so maybe it's, like, a cousin. or whoever. dave decides it's probably safe to proceed like this is still a training exercise, since proceeding like that is pretty much the same as, you know, how he would proceed if he were a normal kid and caught someone tracking him.

...maybe? it's so fucking hard to tell what the normal response would be. john might be able to clue him in, but dave is pretty sure that john would literally never notice anyone following him.

but dave knows what people look like when they're ready to throw down, and there is zero percent of him that wants to go there. is he supposed to contact bro about this? there's a slim chance bro doesn't know about it (hard to picture, bro knows everything) in which case he should. but if bro knows, then maybe he shouldn't? or maybe it's a test to see if he will?

...

this is really pointless and dirk is free to examine the bathroom as he likes. he might notice the ceiling tiles that could be pushed up like dave had, or even the vents that could potentially be unscrewed so someone small enough could hoist themselves inside. but that would be crazy, right?

he'd started to move the second he clocked dirk. dave had been in the vents and he pops out a few floors up several minutes later, so roxy's security cameras will probably clock him dropping out of the ceiling up there like a goddamn cat, and this is really not normal behavior for a thirteen year old kid. especially one with a broken wrist and cracked ribs?

he proceeds to locate a room with a window and proceeds to leave through said window. several floors up. because now he knows who he's avoiding (maybe) so that leaves him with...

what? evade or confront. fight or flight. dave strider naturally defaults to "flight" as he debates whether or not he needs to call bro. or how quickly he has to get home. shit, what if bro texts him? he probably needs to call bro.

dave mentally maps the nearest payphone, and that's where he'll head once he's free of the museum if dirk can't cover the space of a few floors in the time it takes dave to open a window and jump. he'll take the weirdest route humanly possible, because clearly that's something he has to do right now.

he's still not sure if he's going to call or not, because he's still not sure this isn't training, but probably the worst to happen by alerting bro will be the guy hanging up on him or not answering. maybe. so whatever? ]

[splinten]

[Dirk! I found him!

It's Lalonde, urgent and without explanation: she gives Dirk directions and he follows. English comes in with a route once he hits the streets and they split the explanation between them: he'd gone through the vents and then absconded right out a window. Don't bother with cover, you have definitely been made now—so he books it. He manages to spot the kid right as he's going to a payphone and for fuck's sake.

Strider, don't approach—

Dirk stops listening to Jake; he shoves his hands in his pockets and says,]

I wouldn't intervene, except I'm pretty sure you aren't callin' who any kid your age should be. Then again, any kid your age wouldn't have made me and given me the slip through the ventilation shafts. So why don't we hit pause on this and have a talk?

[Dave's pursuer, if he stops to listen to him, has a low monotone of a voice, rumbling and not heavily inflected, but still with detectable emotion when compared to Dave's Bro. There's something between exasperation, amusement, and a weird hopefulness, kinda like someone who thinks it's funny but also annoying that they're about to be shot, but maybe God is real and they'll be spared. ]

If you wanna call your brother, you can use this. [He takes Dave's phone out of his pocket and offers to him. Silently, he wills English and Lalonde to be covering their asses on the chances that the kid's brother could be using the phone the same way they try to.] But it'd be super cool if you gave me five minutes first. [Again that combination of amusement/exasperation/the vague but not believing hope for the impossible.]

[parodeity]

[ oh what the fuck the guy is talking to him. dave has grown up with mind games and he wonders, exhausted, what variety of game this is. what the fuck is bro up to?

wary as hell, dave does reach out with a hesitant hand to take the phone.

of course, he also makes a solid effort to kick dirk in the nuts and bolt without a hint of that being a thing he was going to do in his body language, so? unsure about those five minutes??? how much of that can dave get away with, dirk. because if he gets off to bolt he'll shoot bro a text that roxy may want to stop from going through which amounts to "someone is following me". he has a solid thirteen years of conditioning that bro is the law: that doesn't stop in five minutes or ten or fifteen. ]

[splinten]

[Okay he dodges back from that but chasing a kid who just kicked him away in a public street seems like a terrible idea. Jake and Roxy both call him stupid and then Lalonde blocks the text. Dirk, in an attitude of professionalism, just lets his head rest against the box in exasperation. Roxy promises to track the kid until he stops. Dirk starts moving back to the apartment; if he has to take the brother on now, so be it. (English doesn't approve but Dirk isn't letting this monster take this kid and fucking vanish on them. If it comes to a choice between losing this number or risking his life, well, English gave him a job. He never said it would be easy.)

Anyway yeah Dirk will go back to the apartment and try a showdown with Bro if it seems Dave is heading that way but otherwise Roxy's just going to track him to see if he stops anywhere.]

[parodeity]

[ i mean dave seems to stop in a trash can a few blocks away so???? based on phone data. but at least security cameras can clock him more easily. unfortunately at this stage a showdown with bro might be a showdown with bro and dave since dave strider would claim to be his brother's biggest fan even if he doesn't get him, so. good luck there, dirk, might not want to rush into things???

he isn't immediately heading home but instead figures as long as he's out and about he may as well get groceries because he sure isn't leaving the apartment until whatever the fuck bro's doing is done with. or...not-bro. dave changes his mind every two seconds as to what's going on.

he buys poptarts (chocolate) and juice boxes (apple) and that's going to have to last the entire month if not longer. whatever. ]

[splinten]

[Well, that was too be expected. Now Dirk is really grateful Lalonde is tagging in.

While Dave is leaving the grocery store, a payphone rings. Will he pick it up?]

[parodeity]

[ ...

yes, but only because it might be bro. he won't say anything, though. ]

[splinten]

[Goddammit. Awkwardly, Dirk throws it all on the line]

I'm not interested in hurting you, dude. I'd just like to have a conversation, maybe over lunch. I've got an expense card I never use.

[parodeity]

[ AH, THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN? dave purses his lips in legitimate frustration. when he speaks, it's full-on texan drawl in a flat tone devoid of any emotion beyond mild irritation. controlled but uncontrolled. ]

I know I'm pretty, but maybe find someone else to go stranger danger on.

[ he can think of zero good reasons for a grown man to be following around a thirteen year old kid. like...it's one thing if bro is behind this, because then it would...

not creepy? somehow? or at least it would be expected creepiness. but. it feels wrong to consider that this creepy as fuck move would be acceptable if it came from bro, so dave just Does Not Consider it. ]

I ain't in the market for whatever you're sellin' and my bro probably wouldn't appreciate you doin' it.

[ he...thinks. there's literally no way to tell until and unless bro intervenes. dave might be expected to handle this one on his own. he has no way of knowing. ]

[splinten]

[Don't overplay your hand don't overplay your hand don't overplay your hand.]

Your brother probably would object more to me bein' the only person who can match him skill for skill in technology and martial prowess.

[parodeity]

[ a snort. DIRK MAYBE OVERPLAYED HIS HAND? ]

Impossible. Bro's the best at pretty much everythin' and you got clocked by me.

[ dave's a speck of dirt compared to bro. if he in any way managed to outplay someone, they don't stand a chance in hell against his brother.

right? ]

Real as this has been, Mr. Stranger Danger who definitely did not deny my accusations, I've gotta go.

[splinten]

I also tracked you well beyond his scope. Your brother is pretty talented, I'll admit. But since his goal is to terrorize you and not to have a conversation, I figure I'm doing fine with my handicap.

[THAT was overplaying his hand. So he goes all in.]

My name's Dirk. Before you run off, tell me honestly: is this what you'd want if Rose or Jade or John were in your situation, and somebody showed up with the skills and resources to help them?

[parodeity]

[ dirk gets to "rose" and dave hangs up. he stares at the payphone for a second or two but nope, the stranger danger scale just ratcheted up a level. even bro doesn't really talk about dave's friends.

he knows bro reads his conversations, of course. but bro never brings up his friends, not like that, not as a weapon. and holy shit, dave clearly needs the training if all he could do was clock a guy trailing him and not evade the man.

that sets up a fission of unease in the pit of his stomach. will bro be upset dave got followed? that he couldn't stop it immediately the way bro would've been able to do? is this a failed test?

there is exactly one way to find out. it has a .001% chance of working, because bro never really explains jack shit. but dave has to go home anyway, so...whatever. he'll start heading there, not bothering to take a weird route but cutting straight towards the apartment building instead. ]

[splinten]

[Roxy and Jake applaud him for his incredible people skills. Dirk tells them to shut up. But that means moving on to plan E, so Roxy and Jake start moving themselves into position while Roxy gives him the data to meet Dave on the way there.

Which is why Dave gets Dirk, looking incredibly long-suffering for a man with a deadpan, holding his hands up in the universal "I'm unarmed" gesture, in his way.]

Please. I'm tryin' to help. I'm not very good at it, it turns out, but my boss isn't really good at the whole terminatin' employees thing.

Look, if... some kind of Strife is what it takes for you to believe me, or the unveiling of my entire comicbook backstory or whatever, I'll do it. But your number's up, and it's my job to make sure you survive the next forty-eight hours. So... please help me do my job and keep you breathin'.

[This is bad. Dirk knows this is bad. Roxy manages to take enough of a break from what she's doing to tell him it's bad. English at least gives him an encouraging remark about him doing his best, which is possibly even more insulting.

He is Trying.]

[parodeity]

[ dave really, really wants bro about now. shit. he never should have left home, he should have just asked bro yesterday if it was a training exercise. ]

S'not your job. My bro's my guardian, and I don't know what the fuck you're talkin' about, but I'll survive today and tomorrow and the day after just fine, thanks.

[ your number's up, what the fuck does that even mean? ]

And you might wanna get the fuck out of dodge if you ain't a part of this, 'cause if I clocked you, he sure as fuck did. Whatever fantasy you're tryin' to live up to here, maybe don't fuck with actual people for your roleplay thing? I'm bein' nice, but not everyone is gonna be.

[splinten]

It's my job because a dude who talks like Teddy Roosevelt pays me to stop people from being killed when we can see it coming.

[Seriously what the hell is up with English. Dirk will never get that. He talks like he's from the 1920s.]

Our information says that you're going to die in the next forty-eight hours. Twenty-four, now, since we got the information yesterday. Maybe less than that. And our information is never wrong.

[There are the repeat numbers, of course. But Dirk doesn't want to explain that yet. He thinks if he says 'abuse' the kid will stop humouring him.]

[parodeity]

Your info's wrong, then. I'm not gonna die. You're the most dangerous thing to happen to me in the past thirteen years.

[ besides which: ]

If you think for a second I'm gonna listen to some dude who appears out of the ether and goes "oh your number is up" like that fuckin' explains or means anythin', you've got another thing comin'. Take your ominous horse and pony show and sell it to someone else, man. Maybe you and Roosevelt can whistle up some business in DC. Governments are supposed to like that kinda shit, aren't they?

[ dave wouldn't know. he keeps his eyes on dirk, behind his shades, but starts walking again. he's barely humoring dirk as is, but he isn't bolting and he isn't attacking as of yet. ]

[splinten]

I've been told my people skills need work.

[Dirk will walk with him? It's better than the bolting. He might need to arrange something fast but right now Roxy and Jake are on time.]

As the government, we, uh, don't get along too well these days. [Because Dirk has a very Reese backstory. That's how you make Batman.]

I'm not that dangerous to you. The most you'd get fightin' me is a bruised ego, kid.

[parodeity]

[ hopefully roxy and jake and dirk have a Plan here that accounts for the fact dave will bolt again and again if they take out bro. because holy shit he's never even considered calling it abuse and he has no idea who these people are and dirk's freaking him out even now. dave's jaw tightens when dirk falls into step with him, but as always he's too small and too weak to do a single fucking thing about the unease so he just pretends it doesn't exist.

he doesn't bother responding to yet another reminder that he can't stand his ground against anyone and the guy walking next to him could kick his ass. dave is used to being helpless - who cares if the stalker wants to remind him just how helpless he really is? ]

Not sure how many ways I can say "find someone else to bother", dude.

[ he can't even tell what this guy wants.

maybe it's just impossible to tell what any adult wants. or anyone at all. or maybe it's just impossible because none of them ever want anything dave actually has. maybe it doesn't even matter what they want, because they're always going to just take it anyway, and he's never going to be able to stop them. whatever the fuck this guy wants, he clearly can get around dave's meager attempts to stop him.

bro might help, but bro might not help.

sometimes dave wonders why he bothers getting cash to feed himself, or any of the rest of it. this is, right now, one of the times he's wondering that most strongly. he wants to be anywhere else, doing anything else, and no one is ever going to let that be a thing, not until their own agendas have been met and probably not even then. weird stalker dirk spins things a different way, but dave has the feeling as soon as he gets what he wants - what, for dave to play along in whatever hero roleplay he has going on? - he'll be gone or he'll want something else, and none of it is about dave so much as the cooked up fantasy.

granted, stalkers don't usually make shit about their victims, so that's not too surprising. but it'd be cool if he could at least be the star of his own show before he, like, got shanked in an alley or something. the question is whether or not dave cares enough to stop it at this point.

he's wondering if he wants to help it along, even. ]

Can you just go find someone else to do the hero roleplay with? I'm not gonna call the cops on you or whatever, so just...leave me alone.

[splinten]

That isn't exactly an option. Teddy R has a policy against refusing to take numbers. Once or twice, I've asked for it, but... this isn't one of situations where I'd be willing to drop the number even if he told me to.

[Not this number. Not Dave Strider, too skinny for his height and too wary for his age.]

It isn't about roleplayin' hero. If it were, that isn't really the role I'd be cast in. [because he has BLOOD ON HIS HANDS weh weh he is darkness he is the night whatever] If you knew somethin' bad was going to happen, and you had the power to stop it from happenin', would you really be able to just let it happen anyway?