so age shenanigans "lucy what do you use your musebox for" nonsense threads and holiday cards

[parodeity]

[ one day dave strider wakes up and the tower isn't familiar or comfortable. it's place he's never been with weird trappings of familiarity. there are things that are clearly his or that he...thinks are his? turntables unfamiliar to him in specific except they're his exact set up. clothes in the closet a little too big for his frame, but the pajamas he'd been wearing are just black pants an a loose t-shirt so those are fine. there's stickers on the top of the bunk bed frame, the bed he woke up in, and some are sbahj. there are pictures pinned places he's mostly ignoring because they're too odd, and it's...

not his bedroom. it's not his apartment. after looking out a window, dave's pretty sure it's maybe not his planet.

which, okay. sburb has only just become a thing and already dave is pretty sure bullshit is par for the course. but a little more warning would have been nice? or any warning at all. the workbench in the room he woke up in is weird and a little unsettling and so dave goes...down the stairs because he hears stuff down there and smells.

food?

that is a weird thing to smell in the morning. what the fuck. he'll kind of peer around the corner with as much caution as he can muster, figuring he doesn't see his own corpse so either this doesn't go sideways at all or it just hasn't yet and - ]

Bro. [ deadpan neutral surprise, because, yeah. that's...no, he's younger, but still. hm. reluctantly, dave stops peering around the corner and drifts further into the room, regarding the kitchen being used as a kitchen with well but not perfectly hidden dismay and concern. ]

Comments

[parodeity]

You're not a fan of me dying?

[ ok he needs to. stop just repeating what dirk says. this is stupid. ]

So you're from after the meteor apocalypse, what's that like?

[ SHIT WHY WAS THAT THE SMALLTALK QUESTION TO COME TO MIND. ]

[splinten]

It wasn't a meteor apocalypse. It was a Alien Sea Hitler apocalypse. Mostly it was boring and wet? Divin' in the ruins of Houston was pretty cool though.

[But, because it probably does need to be confirmed:]

I am not a fan of you dying or getting hurt.

[parodeity]

[ hm. okay. he does have something to say to this! ]

Our lives are fuckin' weird.

[ another pause. ]

And stupid.

[ this feels like an opinion literally no one could fault him for having. ]

[splinten]

They're incredibly idiotic. You don't even know about the alien sugar high lollipops.

[parodeity]

[ he opens his mouth to ask but? then he thinks better of it. ]

Can you do me a favor and not expand on that statement, ever. [ a pause because he isn't sure he can ask for dirk to not do things (did he fuck up) but dirk seems to kind of respond better to casual joking than just blind acceptance so. he should flavor his acceptance with casual joking?

these waters are uncharted and dave isn't sure. ]

Because that sounds like shenanigans I don't need to know about when I'm full up on them?

[splinten]

You're better off knowin'. [Look Dave, you passed. Congratulations.] Want to get back to the game? [dirk believes maybe?? he survived this exchange???? without doing damage??? he thinks focusing on the game may help him not do anything bad]

[parodeity]

Sure. What's the plan when we beat it, though?

[ dirk, who is bro, can obviously breeze through this even with dave as his co-op partner so obviously beating it will occur? ]

[splinten]

Uh. ['Anything you want' is not going to be allowed. So. Okay. What to do.]</small. No plan. We can decide when we get to that.

[parodeity]

All right. [ that weirdly sounds like he's going to have a lot of Say in this but ? okay ? dave can work with this ?

just don't fuck it up, okay. ]

Is there a high score thing on this?

[splinten]

Nah. It's mostly just fun to see weird ways you can solve the puzzles.

[what is being competitive. dirk has never heard of it???

okay he has but he and dave don't get into competitive things. mario kart is less competition than dave's efforts to make dirk outraged, really??]

[parodeity]

Oh. [ BUMMER. he was going to suggest a high score name, but does not clarify why he asked at all. dave...is fine with it not being competitive, really? he will engage in competitions but tends to prefer not getting bogged down with them, so this works. he does better at competitions when they're team games. ]

So is there a baseline for normal solving? How much am I off.

[splinten]

What's the scale? One to ten, strongly agree to strongly disagree, uncanny valley to replicant?

[parodeity]

Uh, scale of am I a martian or a visitor from outside the universe in terms of how I solve them?

[splinten]

Right now you're in the Andromeda Galaxy. I bet you can do a universe jump pretty easy.

[parodeity]

[ he kind of side-eyes dirk a little because that did not sound like dirk thought it was a bad thing? that dave is solving things weird as fuck? was that approval?????????????

maybe he should try to make his solutions even weirder????????? ]

[splinten]

[If he does what he'll get is

Dirk laughing.]

Dude, that was ridiculous.

[parodeity]

[ holy shit??????????

it's a little like glancing out the window and discovering the sky was always green. or...some other metaphor that makes more sense in context. dave catches himself before he starts staring, uncertain what to do with a completely unambiguous sign of approval.

except, you know, die trying to keep that being a thing that he has unlocked? ]

I bet I could maybe do two universes over.

[ or die trying. there's something very eager and open about that statement, in terms of dave and how he can be. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk almost jumps at it—he loves seeing Dave do wild things—but he looks at Dave and realizes what has happened.

He ruffles Dave's hair in a desperate attempt to diffuse the situation and pretend he isn't scared he messed up.] Go for it if you want, but don't kill yourself tryin', dude. You're always awesome to me.


[now he's like 'shit was the ruffle a miSTAKE']

[parodeity]

[ this is still the twilight zone but dirk is reaching a point of doing so many twilight zone things that dave can't freeze for every new one because he's reached a state of zen acceptance to "holy shit what the fuck".

he. thinks that was nice?

but how does he make sure things stay like this. ]

I can do it. [ reassuring. he can. ] Even if I can't flip me back to whatever.

[splinten]

I don't know if it's your responsibility to flip you back to whatever. You're the Time player, but if it's a planet thing then it probably has to be a planet solution.

It's cool. This is a demand-free zone. Just do what you want to.

[parodeity]

[ dave makes a face. he immediately smooths it out like he's not sure if that's allowed, but. ]

I don't know if I like other people honin' in on my thing.

[splinten]

[THERE IS NO INDICATION OF DISAPPROVAL TOWARDS FACES]

You're tellin' me. My thing is Heart, which you probably don't remember basically means soul. This entire goddamned planet is a giant soul, which includes every fish, flower, and rock. The only things that aren't linked up to its soul are off-planet things. It messes with you.

[parodeity]

Uh, no, I'm only familiar with the base four classes. I mean, the classes we have. And Mind.

[ because terezi. ]

Though it's cool to know there are a zillion made up classes and aspects in sburb as with any other video game.

[splinten]

You guys got classes that made some kind of sense. We got... well, the girls god useful powers. Jane is Maid of Life and Roxy's Rogue of Void. Jake's a Page of Hope and I'm the Prince of Heart, which sounds as stupid as it is.

[parodeity]

What do your duds look like?