lucybox | ty wants to see dave put his foot in his mouth

ty wants to see dave put his foot in his mouth

[ today in alternate reincarnation aus i guess: what if instead of john egbert walking into his college room, his Destined Roomie (tm) it happened instead like this?

dave and rose don't really go to parties that often. it's not that they're opposed to socializing or anything, it's just not their Thing. dave is more likely to spend his free time dicking around on the internet or bothering his siblings and friends. the only changes memories have caused is an occasional interest in being alone. rose - well, rose tends to have her own things, and like dave she seems to be perfectly fine without the College Experience of parties. dave's pretty sure roxy is the only one who really actively seeks that kind of thing out, and that suits him fine.

so he's not really sure why he and rose agree to go to this party, except it's being thrown by a bunch of rose's more nerdy friends, people she's met in classes that dave doesn't take. and, well, if rose grabs dave's arm and tells him he has plans, dave is more likely than not to go "yeah, okay" or at least to let himself be dragged along as he protests and argues the entire way there.

he expects to try to stick to juice (he will go into people's fridges without worrying, whatever) and to chat with people randomly, and maybe if he's lucky there'll be fireworks, since this is supposedly a fourth of july thing?

he does not expect to recognize someone and he does not expect to need the mouth-to-brain filter that only sometimes functions periodically and so he kind of freezes up, points at his best friend and says ]

Dibs. [ louder than expected, although at least some people are drunk enough to just kind of snort and move on.

...rose laughs, pats his arm, and ABANDONS HIM, the lousiest excuse for a twin sister in the world (he would kill and die for her) and dave flounders. ] I mean - shit. Shit, I can't save that one, oh my god. Is there a convenient balcony to fling myself off of.

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However, I have never before met anyone wearin' an Ace Ventura shirt. I could not stop myself. [ YEAH. THAT WAS THE REASON. THE SHIRT. TOTALLY. ] Dirk's my eldest sib, Roxy's next eldest, then Rose, then me. Also pizza coupons expirin' is the worst but there is a pretty ok pizza joint that's, like, spaceship themed. It's really ridiculous. The food is delivered via little spaceshuttle track things.

How mind-blown are you going to be if I say I have more than one? [He doesn't, but he's just curious. He nods along though.] Rose is in one of my classes but obviously I've never met the others. But you can't go wrong with someone who likes video games.

[There's a snort though.] Are the drivers dressed in little alien costumes too? That'd be so sweet.

...Please tell me that's a joke and you only have the one. [ his poor heart. ] Also they actually have to dress up in like, space suits? The servers, I mean. Which is like, why I never applied there although I did consider it at one point. I am not into the LARPing life? Could be, but am not.

Yes that's a joke. I couldn't find any other ones I liked. [But LARPing servers...] How could they even move in those? Aren't spacesuits bulky? We don't have that many gimmick places where I'm from so it's just sort of weird.

They're mostly just, like, cheap shiny fabric, you know? So kinda lame, but it fits the entire aesthetic. It's called Pizza Planet, btw.

You're totally making that up. There's no way this city really has a pizza place called Pizza Planet. [There is definitely a pizza planet and John just hasn't explored enough.] Kind of a letdown that their food's just okay when it should be out of this world.

[Heh. Space jokes.]

We can hit up Pizza Planet after the planetarium if you're so sure I'm makin' it up. If I'm not, does that mean you're payin'? It sounds like the set up to a bet, after all. In which case I should warn you I am a terrible person to bet against, on account of being right so often and shit. Like. I'm just rollin' in all these answers that are completely and totally correct and in no way wrong. Haven't lost a bet in my life, ever. Don't ask Rose to confirm or deny that, though.

Yeah, you're on. [He doesn't quite believe everything Dave says yet but also like. Getting pizza with a friend doesn't sound like a bad idea? Even if he has to be a chump and pay for it, whatever.] I guess the first thing I'll do next time I see Rose is ask for a chronicle timeline of all the times you were ever wrong. You know, in the interest of being your new friend that points that shit out to you.

[It's a nice and warm evening for a walk at least.] I bet I could win against any bet you had. Sometimes I get lucky.

Who'm I supposed to call up for your chronologically accurate timeline of inaccuracy? This seems grossly weighted against me, odds-wise, I demand a chance to even up.

[ dave's slouched as he walks, terrible posture a habit even though it'd been better previously, before he started being more and more...dave. his hands are jammed in his pockets and he doesn't seem to feel the need to do more than give rose some kind of nod before leaving to go outside, so probably? that informed her his plans somehow? ]

[There's a hum as they walk side by side, his own hands in his pockets even if he's not slouchy mcslouch and he keeps his head up high, watching the busy sidewalks with idle amusement on his face.]

Are you asking me for my accountability guardian? Because I don't know if you'll like her very much.

Why not? I'll give anyone you like a fair shot. [ or keep his opinions mostly to himself??? whatever??? ]

[He turns his head to face Dave then.] Why? [That's. Super not an answer, but he's curious.]

[ "because i love you" is DEFINITELY A THING YOU DON'T SAY TO SOMEONE YOU JUST MET, please save dave strider from all these friendship feelings ]

Because you seem like a pretty cool guy, and I think if you like someone, there's a reason for it. Besides - I'll give pretty much anyone at least one or two shots before I write 'em off as personality incompatible, unless they do something egregious like attack someone I like or somethin' that is obviously not okay.

[Thanks, buddy, that is definitely a good idea not to say the thing while John assumes they've just met.]

See, stuff like that is what makes me think maybe you are actually cool and not just sort of strange. [He's quick to continue though.] I know a lot of people that make pretty fast judgments. So...I guess it's pretty cool that you bother forming your own opinions? Ugh that sounds stupid, you know what I mean! Fake cool guys are always going on and on about being better than everybody else and being above all of the stuff people like or agreeing for the sake of agreeing with stuff but...you don't seem like that.

[A beat.] What if I said that she doesn't live here and I've only seen her in person, like, once?

I am totally better than everybody else and above everythin' people like and whatever, excuse you. [ things he doesn't even remotely think are true. ] That aside - and you can't argue me bein' above everythin' else when I'm taller - I would say that I'd still want to meet your friend even if she's an internet friend. It's not like those are less important than people who live right next door.

[ says dave strider, BIASED AS FUCK on the subject. ]

Sure. I'll be here for at least another three years so you have all the time in the world to prove that. [He smirks slightly.] You're not that much taller than me, but okay. I get it. I still text and chat with her a lot and we've been friends for a long time and she's actually kind of scary sometimes but she's nice when you get to know her.

[A shrug.] Internet friends have been some of the best friends I've had since moving here since at least nothing's changed about them.

Implyin' somethin's changed about other people.

[ eyebrows up, but shit, maybe he shouldn't call john on that? ]

But my previous statement still stands. I'd like to get to know [ you ] people you like. That's kinda how gettin' to know people works sometimes? People are not islands unto themselves.

[Shrug.]

So if that's true--[Way to absolutely just go "ANYWAY" about the subject, Egbert.]--that means I get to know more people that you like, too? Like a friend-swap sort of thing, people besides Rose. Not that I won't want to get to know Rose? She could be nice to know.

You can meet any of my friends you want, sure. There's Rose and Jade, obviously, then Yuri and Anya, and - I know a lot of people, actually, but yeah. I don't mind friend-swappin' it up, as they will all stand up to any true coolness scrutiny.

[ HE IS 100% SURE ]

With the true cool-guy stamp of approval what can go wrong? [The idea of meeting people seems like a good route to go in terms of conversation. It means getting to know others and it means getting to learn more about Dave by proxy, which he's okay with. There are worse things that could happen and though the names don't register much he commits them to memory anyway.]

I guess I can introduce you to Vriska next time we video chat. She's been busy with school and stuff so I haven't had the time to sit down and see her. There are a few others I've met online that you can meet, too, and a few people I've met since school started. I am pretty sure we're friends, but sometimes it's hard to say.

[ ...of course he's talking about vriska, and of course spidertroll would be the one to get to be bros with john egbert in this lifetime. rude? dave's never been remotely jealous of her in the previous life? although he's not sure he even is now, since it's not really an emotion he feels on the regular. mostly it's kind of a relief john knew someone from back then, and kind of an Of Course that john would have found at least one crazy troll girl to be friends with.

actually, dave's not certain how the rest of them avoided that fate. there were so many of those to know. ]

Cool. [ it is? kind of? he makes a mental note to try to warn ami off of the concept of talking to john's friend, though, because he's vaguely committed to trying to keep the middle schooler from remembering how she fucking died. ] It can be kinda hard to tell when you're friends with people sometimes I think? Though you can always just ask. Which is what Yuri did last year, come to think of it, and only after Anya basically said that's a thing that was happenin'.

[ he'd forgotten about that almost. ]

[That is definitely what happens when there is no Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde or Jade Harley for John to be friends with. He winds up with alternate-universe!Vriska and some of her weird friends and he's somehow okay with that. It's also clear that, weirdly, John has some fondness for this version of Vriska even if she's kind of crazy.]

Yeah. We've known each other for years but I didn't meet her for the first three or something of our friendship. She's okay. [As to the rest.] And you don't think it's kind of lame for someone to go to someone else and ask if they're friends? That sounds like you're asking for them to say no just to mess with you or argue with you.

[He thinks maybe he has had that experience once or twice. Hm. But it doesn't bother him as much as one would think.]

I dunno if I'd call it "lame"? Like, insecure or hilarious, maybe [ is that better ] but also I think that sometimes you kinda need the confirmation if there's some reason you wouldn't be sure, or if it's new ground.

[ he's speaking in regards to what he knows about yuri - but also, he gets the insecurity angle, these days. ]

I think dependin' on the veracity of the answer the person in question would know whether or not messin' with them at that point in time was like, kosher or not. I mean, I didn't give Yuri shit for asking, although I have done since in a teasing way, because while I like to make fun of him there are lines you just don't cross. I wouldn't want to actually upset the dude, you know?

That's the one thing I would say I don't want to be hilarious, dude. [He's still fairly blase about the topic, like he's not circling around his own questions. John isn't a very insecure person, but he does question things about his relationships with people sometimes.] The new ground is relevant. But I think I want to grow up a little and not have to ask everyone I meet here if we are friends or not.

[But he's listening, taking that into consideration.] Vriska used to make fun of me all the time when we were growing up. Sometimes she took it too far. Sometimes I did. This went on for years before I finally had to ask her if we were friends or if she was just bored. [But there's a grin.] You sound like a good friend. Is that weird to say?

I don't know. It's a nice thing to hear? [ although maybe an embarrassing one, and the shrug and duck of his head is the nearest indicator to a hint of shame he's had the entire time? kind of. like. at least that's visible... ] Personally I just kinda try to be a halfway decent person when I can be, since like, I have the unfortunate tendency to say shit without thinkin' about it, and at least I can minimize that damage if the shit I tend to want to say without thinkin' about it ain't that bad, even if it makes me want to jump off of things. At least I'd like my subconscious thoughts to not be shit that hurts other people, even if they make me personally want to die?

[ maybe just invest in a brain to mouth filter though? ]

For the record though this is me tryin' to be friends with you. [ so there's not any ambiguity there. ]

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