so age shenanigans "lucy what do you use your musebox for" nonsense threads and holiday cards

[parodeity]

[ one day dave strider wakes up and the tower isn't familiar or comfortable. it's place he's never been with weird trappings of familiarity. there are things that are clearly his or that he...thinks are his? turntables unfamiliar to him in specific except they're his exact set up. clothes in the closet a little too big for his frame, but the pajamas he'd been wearing are just black pants an a loose t-shirt so those are fine. there's stickers on the top of the bunk bed frame, the bed he woke up in, and some are sbahj. there are pictures pinned places he's mostly ignoring because they're too odd, and it's...

not his bedroom. it's not his apartment. after looking out a window, dave's pretty sure it's maybe not his planet.

which, okay. sburb has only just become a thing and already dave is pretty sure bullshit is par for the course. but a little more warning would have been nice? or any warning at all. the workbench in the room he woke up in is weird and a little unsettling and so dave goes...down the stairs because he hears stuff down there and smells.

food?

that is a weird thing to smell in the morning. what the fuck. he'll kind of peer around the corner with as much caution as he can muster, figuring he doesn't see his own corpse so either this doesn't go sideways at all or it just hasn't yet and - ]

Bro. [ deadpan neutral surprise, because, yeah. that's...no, he's younger, but still. hm. reluctantly, dave stops peering around the corner and drifts further into the room, regarding the kitchen being used as a kitchen with well but not perfectly hidden dismay and concern. ]

Comments

[splinten]

I'll send out a text and ask. Do you sense anything weird, time-wise?

[Dave is still the time expert even with three years less experience.]

[parodeity]

Kind of. [ he's not sure what it is and sounds wary about admitting it because he's not sure what it is. ] I don't know? I can't feel it anymore.

[ "it" is the alpha timeline. ]

[splinten]

Sorry, I'm unclear. What's 'it' here?

[parodeity]

The alpha timeline. [ you know his entire Reason To Exist or whatever. that's mildly unsettling?

dave hasn't really done more than vaguely hint he's unsettled about it not being there before, but he's more likely to give straight answers when asked right now. by dirk, anyway. ] I can't get at it.

[splinten]

[if dirk realized that power he'd be too scared to use it]

Right. I'm not sure how it's operatin' here. You told me once you don't think we've gotten ourselves dead-ended, but that the alpha timeline won't happen. You also can't do an unstable timeloop.

[parodeity]

I can't do what. [ nvm he fumbles his move and they lose points. remember how dave did not know that until he tried doing it? he hasn't tried doing it just yet and the loss of that particular safety net is terrifying? ]

[splinten]

[WHOOPS. Uhhh shit.] You can't go back in time and change the timeline. I think the planet's stoppin' you.

[parodeity]

[ haha wow what's the point of dave strider then? this is terrible????????? he. tries to keep playing and tries to do so, like. less bad. ]

Oh. [ what should he say. right. ] Sorry. [ this is terrible ]

I can try to fix it?

[splinten]

Please don't. [Dirk will pause the game so Dave doesn't have to worry about that.] Honestly, I was grateful you couldn't do that. I know it freaks you out, so, uh... sorry? But personally, I don't like the idea of you killin' yourself to correct the timeline, so I'm good with this situation.

[parodeity]

You...don't want me to correct the timeline.

[ we're just playing the repeating things dirk says in increasingly incredulous tones game today, apparently? ]

It wouldn't really be killin' me. I mean. Just one of me. Not the me who would then matter?

[splinten]

I'm aware that you think of it that way, but I don't. Regardless of who 'matters' in that frame, from my perspective, correcting timelines is killing my brother. So I'm not a fan.

[the most likely cause of death for dave strider is dirk though]

[parodeity]

You're not a fan of me dying?

[ ok he needs to. stop just repeating what dirk says. this is stupid. ]

So you're from after the meteor apocalypse, what's that like?

[ SHIT WHY WAS THAT THE SMALLTALK QUESTION TO COME TO MIND. ]

[splinten]

It wasn't a meteor apocalypse. It was a Alien Sea Hitler apocalypse. Mostly it was boring and wet? Divin' in the ruins of Houston was pretty cool though.

[But, because it probably does need to be confirmed:]

I am not a fan of you dying or getting hurt.

[parodeity]

[ hm. okay. he does have something to say to this! ]

Our lives are fuckin' weird.

[ another pause. ]

And stupid.

[ this feels like an opinion literally no one could fault him for having. ]

[splinten]

They're incredibly idiotic. You don't even know about the alien sugar high lollipops.

[parodeity]

[ he opens his mouth to ask but? then he thinks better of it. ]

Can you do me a favor and not expand on that statement, ever. [ a pause because he isn't sure he can ask for dirk to not do things (did he fuck up) but dirk seems to kind of respond better to casual joking than just blind acceptance so. he should flavor his acceptance with casual joking?

these waters are uncharted and dave isn't sure. ]

Because that sounds like shenanigans I don't need to know about when I'm full up on them?

[splinten]

You're better off knowin'. [Look Dave, you passed. Congratulations.] Want to get back to the game? [dirk believes maybe?? he survived this exchange???? without doing damage??? he thinks focusing on the game may help him not do anything bad]

[parodeity]

Sure. What's the plan when we beat it, though?

[ dirk, who is bro, can obviously breeze through this even with dave as his co-op partner so obviously beating it will occur? ]

[splinten]

Uh. ['Anything you want' is not going to be allowed. So. Okay. What to do.]</small. No plan. We can decide when we get to that.

[parodeity]

All right. [ that weirdly sounds like he's going to have a lot of Say in this but ? okay ? dave can work with this ?

just don't fuck it up, okay. ]

Is there a high score thing on this?

[splinten]

Nah. It's mostly just fun to see weird ways you can solve the puzzles.

[what is being competitive. dirk has never heard of it???

okay he has but he and dave don't get into competitive things. mario kart is less competition than dave's efforts to make dirk outraged, really??]

[parodeity]

Oh. [ BUMMER. he was going to suggest a high score name, but does not clarify why he asked at all. dave...is fine with it not being competitive, really? he will engage in competitions but tends to prefer not getting bogged down with them, so this works. he does better at competitions when they're team games. ]

So is there a baseline for normal solving? How much am I off.

[splinten]

What's the scale? One to ten, strongly agree to strongly disagree, uncanny valley to replicant?

[parodeity]

Uh, scale of am I a martian or a visitor from outside the universe in terms of how I solve them?

[splinten]

Right now you're in the Andromeda Galaxy. I bet you can do a universe jump pretty easy.