lucybox | slams hands on table best friends

slams hands on table best friends

[ dave strider ends up choosing cinematography to study because, fuck, why not? it's almost graduation when he finally decides, and it's sort of at random. it's not that he doesn't like video-taping shit (he does) or that he isn't into special effects and sound stuff (he is) but there's a lot of shit dave is into and he wasn't sure how to translate that to college. he loves music; he loves dance; he's really into the film shit and his shitty comics, but he definitely can't do art because the shitty comic quality isn't shitty on accident. but he consults with his siblings and he thinks about it hard and he makes a decision.

and god, it was easier to be excited about that decision before memories and past lives and powers came into play, but it's still kind of cool. dirk hated college but dave likes the idea of it. he likes the routine normality that it seems to suggest, the way he feels kind of grown up and like a half-competent adult when he packs up his shit and heads off to university. it's still in the city so it's not like he's really gone, but it's enough of a distance to allow him to pretend.

these days, somewhat to his surprise, dave wants to pretend. rose doesn't remember a thing about anything going on and his parents probably never will, and it's strange and too much like playing pretend every day to live there. he can't tell them about anything. he can't even tell roxy, because he doesn't want to mention most of the things he knows to anyone. even the tiny things are seeming more and more dangerous, because then it's just a chain of memories, all the way down the line, and eventually they'll all remember the shit he doesn't say, but -

but. well. he can, for now, pretend to be an ordinary kid at college. he has a schedule? he has a mini fridge. he has a room, and he's carefully pinned up a few posters and sorted all his things. he's mindlessly listening to music with his earbuds in when the door opens, and he tracks the movement even behind his shades and sits up. ]

Yo - [ he's absolutely never met the guy who just waltzed into his (their) room but dave absolutely knows him. he reflexively reaches up to adjust his shades. okay. shit. that's john egbert - or...someone? maybe his name is different? but it's john, egderp, the dork who really likes mc...whatever and hates cake and who gave dave these shades, once upon a time, and he's here and really a real live person and ok dave maybe stop staring you're being weird.

shit he's in kindergarten again? how the fuck did you make someone your best friend back then. did you just go up and say "mine" and call dibs? does someone else have dibs???? can dave fight them for dibs -

STILL STARING, DAVE ]

Uh, [ internal screaming ] I'm Dave. Sup.

[ an attempt was made. i guess. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Baby jesus has more talent in his pinky finger than either of us does in our entire bodies, I'm pretty sure that's the basis of Christianity. [ he knows it is not but sometimes you just have to Say Stupid Shit. MORE IMPORTANTLY: ]

Are you tryin' to suggest my profound connection with my son is anything less than genuine and heartrendin' and worthy of a Hallmark movie special? Because if so you clearly do not grasp the ups and downs we have been through, here. The fruit of my goddamn loins, except metaphorical, because mpreg phone babies are not yet a thing although sometimes you hear about science updates and it's like, shit, that can't be far off in the future.

[ ... ]

Anyway what's your handle on all of those, imma follow you.

[ APPARENTLY THIS IS NOT A QUESTION, BUT A STATEMENT don't do it, john, he'll @ you all the time. ]

Sure. [Why the fuck not?] I'm not sure I want to be around for a future where mpreg phone babies ever become a thing. Let me know how that goes if it ever does become a thing. But excuuuuse me for not seeing the genuine...nous of your special bond. I hope you and your son can forgive me and this doesn't traumatize him.

[But okay. Now he unlocks his phone and goes through the process of logging into his shit because he sure can't even remember the last time he logged in.] Breath of Heir. All one word all lowercase. Most of what I reblog and retweet is just movie shit other people posted first though, fair warning. So what you're saying is I should never expect to see you without your phone on you and if that happens then you've been replaced by an alien or something.

Edited 2017-05-07 07:04 (UTC)

[ dave's unlocking his own phone and going to type in the username when given to add john on Absolutely Everything right now, but he pauses at the username. ]

Heir. Like, heir to the throne, not air? [ he did shit like that, too, he realizes. sweet bro and hella jeff, though the comics were a little less...disturbed. his stupid handles on websites. why did these little things carry over? ] Also, yes to the abductions. And I'm turntech godhead, no spaces, I'm adding you on everythin' rn.

[ he needs to join acronyms anonymous or something. ]

Edited 2017-05-07 07:09 (UTC)

Uh huh. [Wow why the fuck are there so many @'s right now, chill out, everyone.] It's kind of a dumb story but it stuck and air like breathable air was taken anyway. [Likewise, he's going to actually make an Attempt and start hunting for Dave on these sites. They'll probably overlap friend requests.] But that's cool. 'Cause of the music mixing thing or something else?

[There's something in his tone that says it's more than curiosity, but he's leaving it alone.]

[ rip john you have not known a true amount of @s until after this day, when you made the mistake of adding dave strider on all your social media. just ask his poor beleaguered sister.

the something else has dave glancing up from his phone - still behind shades, still hard to see. it's always impossible to tell who remembers anything at all, and he feels like "hey so have you ever heard of this terrible phone app called retrospec" could go south fast or at least make john think dave is crazy, which dave...does not want? being crazy is no fun. ]

I picked it up a while back and streamlined, I used to go by a variety of shit but then it just kinda clicked. [ sometimes he also types in red, because he can't fucking help himself. ] But yeah, the turntech part is because of, like, turntables and mixin'. Godhead is for how fuckin' divine I am at it. Second comin' of Snoop Dogg.

[#suffering #daveno #rip

He's not facing Dave because he's still fucking around on his phone, clicking around to switch from one app to the next to add/accept Dave's friend requests to stuff. If Dave bothers snooping later he'll notice that most of John's stuff is definitely just other people's shit except for his YouTube channel which seems to be made up of dumb little videos he's edited. John's also seemed to have forgotten his YT profile has a link to a Soundcloud account with snippets of piano pieces he's composed.]

I changed my name all the time when I first started making accounts but I had to switch because I either kept having to block people or I'd forget my passwords and lock myself out. [...] Jesus. Snoop Dogg? Now I know you're just fucking with me. [Even as he says that though, he navigates to the home screen of his phone and he's about to put the thing away when something catches his eye. He frowns in confusion, squinting at it for a moment.] But cool name for a cool dude or whatever.

[ dave always snoops. all the time? in adding the youtube account he does find the soundcloud link and like. subscribes to that or whatever one does on a soundcloud, as well as directs his phone to dl the music because yesssssss music.

so he's not quite watching what john is doing on his screen, though he looks up as john frowns.

holy shit did he mess up or something? was there something super offensive on one of his accounts? dave clearly tweets daily, and reblogs shit and makes posts on tumblr all the time, and his instagram is absolutely flooded with random snaps. he makes stupid jokes and references and he has a weird eclectic following of internet denizens, and some of it is probably offensive, but - ]

You only say that 'cause you've never seen me mix. You should hit Cabin Eleven with me sometime, I do music there on occasion. Like, DJing, I mean.

[There you go, you social media addict. John, true to his word, has a little of everything and can be found on everything even if he didn't directly say so but some things are more empty than others. On the other hand he seems to be impatiently tapping his screen and trying to delete something. How's that going for you, Egbert?]

That bar downtown? I passed it on my way here. How do you even DJ at a bar, aren't you only like 18? [Explain the wonders of my other shitty character's dumb bar. And also maybe explain why the fuck is this weird as shit app not deleting itself? That would require John saying something instead of increasingly poking his screen but you know. Details.]

There's minor hours, in the day. The guy who runs it does up the fancy drinks all non-alcoholic, too - there's one named for me, Hero of Rhyme? My sis has a drink, too - what are you doing.

[ holy shit? ]

Stop abusing your phone, this is how you apparently broke an unspecified number of other phones. I'm gonna revoke your phone privileges at this rate, holy shit.

[He should say something like "oh that's cool!" or "yeah let's definitely go check that out" but no. Instead, he tunes in a moment later and flashes him a mildly annoyed look, though the annoyance isn't at Dave himself.]

Go ahead. I think the dumb thing might be shitting itself anyway. It keeps downloading the same app over and over again.

[ dave immediately reaches out for the phone before catching himself, because no, that won't help. ]

Turn the phone and show me? [ if he takes the phone it'll just be his damn access to the app, regardless of whether or not the phone had retrospec to start. shit, maybe he should just see if he can message john on there but he doesn't want to get his hopes up (like he does every damn month with rose).

it's said forced-casual but once again 100% of his focus is on john. sorry john! ]

[He's had this phone for a really long time now (a solid six months, thank you) so it's no problem for him to rotate it in his hand and still navigate, thumb holding down on the icon and hitting the x. Dave will absolutely see that the Retrospec app is redownloading itself instead.]

I've never seen it do that before, but I said the same thing right before the battery in my old phone expanded and exploded out the window. [Luckily for both of them. John's now worried about having to get another phone (again!) over paying attention to Dave's weird attention thing.]

[ all right dave this is not the time to be weird and do something improbably clingy and overfamiliar, just play it cool and - haha no he's obviously doing the stupid clingy thing and just kind of peers over at the app before nodding, sighing, and toppling forward kind of to drop his forehead on john's shoulder like this is not going to weird john out.

it has been a hard amount of months okay give him a second. ]

A'ight, how the fuck did you make your battery explode in your other phone? You are seriously never allowed to touch my phone, ever, just fyi.

[ IS HE..................GOING TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK HE IS DOING AT ALL? no.

express relief less absurdly dave.

ok but he will straighten up after a second and readjust his shades and - still fail to explain, just kind of eyeing john?? ]

[Oh. Okay. So this is absolutely happening and John tenses up for all of .5 seconds before he looks down at the top of Dave's head.

Okay. Something's up. Something is definitely up and what the fuck, what the fuck is it? Ever since he walked into the room Dave's been different and it's been a little questionable but nothing bad, John just figured Dave was good at reading people but this.

...he doesn't bother pushing him off either. He just lets Dave get away with this and apparently decides this is definitely in his weird comfort zone, though he's giving a quizzical look even when Dave sits upright.]

Same way I accidentally ran one over with my car, dropped another one in a vat of movie theatre butter, had another one stolen by a seal and lost one in one of those displays at Ikea. It just happened. [Are you going to explain, Dave?] Maybe this one's finally just too old to function.

I...okay, I'm not sure you're allowed to touch your own phone???

[ he actually winced at the "ran one over with my car". ]

Wait, wait, wait. You had a phone stolen by a steal? I need immediate details on this, at once?

[ he will explain after he figures out how john egbert is a real person who hates phones this much oh my god john let the phones live! ]

I was jokin' about the cell phone serial killer thing, holy shit.

[Listen. Sometimes things just Happen. God, Dave, it's fine! But he rolls his eyes and leans back on his hand, looking at his phone again while he's still trying to figure out what the fuck it's doing.]

Okay so Vriska and I were out at Puget Sound one weekend just screwing around and we were on a floating dock when this seal came up to us which was, like, the most awesome thing? Seals don't normally do that unless you have fish, so Vriska stole a fish from someone nearby and I tried to re-enact a scene from some shitty movie we watched and...sort of dropped my phone and the salamander took it instead.

[...salamander? Why the fuck would he say salamander. Anyway. He shakes his head.] Seal, I mean. Anyway it just chomped on it and disappeared under the water and Nanna didn't believe me and Vriska wasn't helping since she just kept laughing her ass off instead of backing up my story.

Edited 2017-05-07 08:54 (UTC)

Yeah, you're not allowed to touch your own phone without supervision. This is a thing that has just been made clear to me. How many phones have you utterly destroyed, you still haven't even given me a number??? Is this your superpower, Egbert, is destroying all things phone your calling in life? That's a villainy thing not a hero thing, you've misled me into thinkin' you were all innocent and disney hero good and it's a lie, isn't it?

[ although that feels...shit, that feels familiar, he knows this kid could never keep a phone for more than like, a day back then, before he did something Utterly Stupid with it? ]

You said salamander. [ honing in on that, because it's Relevant to his interests? ]

Thirteen. [Just. Casually. Like it's Totally Normal to somehow destroy thirteen phones in the four of like four or five years. At least this John didn't throw a PDA into a sea of oil so maybe he's getting better.] You caught onto my dastardly plans and now you must be destroyed.

[There's a slight scowl before he shakes his head again.] Yeah, they both start with s and they're both kind of slippery sea creatures. It was an accident. [Other than he doesn't sound entirely convinced? But like. There's no way to explain what just crossed his mind so he's going to just brush it off as something that makes absolutely perfect sense and that's that.]

[ dave. reaches out to gently take john's phone away and holds it as far away as possible, raising an eyebrow. ]

You do not deserve custody of your child? [ LIKE. HOLY SHIT. he knows he should explain the application, but also: there are so many potential bad memories he can trigger, here. ] So. Do you like brain teasers?

[Okay. He just. Lets that happen because whatever, bye phone. He looks fairly nonplussed about this and instead uses his now free hand to brace himself as he leans back.]

No. [Whether the "no" is to deserving custody of his phone or brain teasers he doesn't specify at first.] I mean not really? Some of them make my head hurt but what does that have to do with breaking thirteen phones?

Absolutely fuckin' nothin', so maybe I should revise that to "do you want your existational crisis now, or with lunch?"

[ since like having it eventually is probably non-negotiable. ]

[...what.]

What? [Please help him.] I don't think I want either of those scenarios so pass. What are you talking about?

Pop quiz: what is a horse.

[ ...as long as he has john's phone he's going to be a nosy little shit and go through his photos actually dave what the fuck. ]

[An irritated noise. John's photos are of, recently, his trip across the country to get to the city, things in the city, a stupid selfie of him on campus probably right before coming into the dorm, and Seattle. There's maybe one photo of him and a girl with long dark hair and one of him and his Nanna but otherwise it's mostly just Things.]

What the fuck do you mean what is a horse? A horse is, like, a four-legged giant animal that people ride and oh my god. [Yeah. Yeah okay.]

You should have another cupcake, that might help the existational crisis.

[ or at least it will let john have another cupcake! win/win, right. dave stops snooping for a moment to watch the entire, you know, reaction of "OH MY GOD". ]

I could also ask you to think real hard about fruit, but I'm nice so I won't. Except technically I guess I just did? Oops.

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