lucybox | ty wants to see dave put his foot in his mouth

ty wants to see dave put his foot in his mouth

[ today in alternate reincarnation aus i guess: what if instead of john egbert walking into his college room, his Destined Roomie (tm) it happened instead like this?

dave and rose don't really go to parties that often. it's not that they're opposed to socializing or anything, it's just not their Thing. dave is more likely to spend his free time dicking around on the internet or bothering his siblings and friends. the only changes memories have caused is an occasional interest in being alone. rose - well, rose tends to have her own things, and like dave she seems to be perfectly fine without the College Experience of parties. dave's pretty sure roxy is the only one who really actively seeks that kind of thing out, and that suits him fine.

so he's not really sure why he and rose agree to go to this party, except it's being thrown by a bunch of rose's more nerdy friends, people she's met in classes that dave doesn't take. and, well, if rose grabs dave's arm and tells him he has plans, dave is more likely than not to go "yeah, okay" or at least to let himself be dragged along as he protests and argues the entire way there.

he expects to try to stick to juice (he will go into people's fridges without worrying, whatever) and to chat with people randomly, and maybe if he's lucky there'll be fireworks, since this is supposedly a fourth of july thing?

he does not expect to recognize someone and he does not expect to need the mouth-to-brain filter that only sometimes functions periodically and so he kind of freezes up, points at his best friend and says ]

Dibs. [ louder than expected, although at least some people are drunk enough to just kind of snort and move on.

...rose laughs, pats his arm, and ABANDONS HIM, the lousiest excuse for a twin sister in the world (he would kill and die for her) and dave flounders. ] I mean - shit. Shit, I can't save that one, oh my god. Is there a convenient balcony to fling myself off of.

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[ it's apple juice and apple juice is fucking awesome, john can't judge him for this!!!! ]

Tomorrow is clearly gonna be the Berenstain Bears shirt so I can fuck with people, keep up, Egbert. [ dave, stop memeing. ] So who's Casey? I am assumin' some kinda pet unless you have a significant other slash friend who rips holes in shirts? Which overall seems more pet than person, thus the assumption.

Jesus fuck. [There's a breathless sort of laugh because the interesting thing is that he's actually not sure if Dave's kidding or not. If he walks across campus and finds Dave in a legit t-shirt with cartoon bears on it he's quitting and moving back to Washington. Maybe. But the Casey question causes him to brighten again and he's actually using his non-soda hand to wriggle his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and heading to his Instagram. This version of John actually has one of those and it's filled with three things. Stupid shit, selfies, and pictures of a very cute and fluffy tan bunny. So yeah, he's stupidly handing his phone over to Dave with one of the photos up to show him.]

Casey probably would like to be a person but if she doesn't stop chewing and ripping holes in my shit that's not happening. Good assumption though.

[ dave would 100% make this shirt and wear it for "irony", john. or just to incite fights about spelling. either or is a possibility??????

oh my god it's a fluffy bunny that's cute as shit? he takes the phone to look at the photo - and to click into a few others. what the shit? ]

Nice. [ UNDERSTATEMENT!!!!!!!! ] I have an iguana. [ he will...open up his own phone after handing john back his to show a picture of an iguana in. a tiny sombrero. why this, strider clan? ]

[Dave why are you this way? Also John, why are you this way, there are way too many goddamn pictures of this bunny in here including several of his bunny in various boxes. This is terrible. Have fun looking through his dumb shit, Dave. Once he has his phone he locks it and pockets it, taking Dave's, squinting a little at the handsome reptile.]

Is his name Senor Lizard? [It's all said with a shitty Spanish accent, too.] That's awesome. I didn't know they made sombreros that tiny.

Snoop Dogg, actually. [ DAVE...STOP NAMING THINGS FOR SNOOP DOGG ] And my sister made it, actually. Not the grimdark one, the other one. Who is cheerful light?

[ there just isn't a snazzy phrase for that at the tip of his tongue. ]

[...a smirk.]

Yeah, okay, that makes absolute sense. [But it's kind of cool and he can accept that.] So it's you, two sisters, and an iguana named after a rapper well past his prime. No wonder you're never lonely.

You're missin' the oldest of the set from the count. My Bro. And also there are cats? Each sister has a cat.

[ so it's true he was pretty much never lonely until...well, he got lonely when dirk moved out? and these days it happens when he feels a little off kilter and out of place in the ordinary suburban life. ]

It's definitely never quiet. [ that seems like a safe compromise. ] So what brings you to this shindig, anyway? You don't seem like the party type. No offense. But you are sittin' in a kitchen with me drinkin' soda, so. Gotta assume you're kinda straight edge, here.

It's like your own version of Full House, minus the super neat-freak dad. [It is nothing like that, but it amuses him anyway. He doesn't immediately answer as he takes another sip.]

I could say the same thing about you with your AJ. [But Dave's not wrong.] A friend invited me and said it was the extended invite from a friend of theirs, so I said I'd come for a while. Get in the ol' college experience for once. I'm not sure what I'm missing.

Edited 2017-05-07 10:50 (UTC)

Personally I prefer to spend my weekends watchin' movies or playin' games or like, dickin' around on the internet.

[ he is...not an exciting person despite all appearances, holy shit. ]

Or, like, if you gotta do a social party activity, why not laser tag? Or some kinda activity. Maybe not bowlin' or anything though, I don't really get most sports. Aside from the balls going in holes being a good thing, except when it is not? They keep changin' the rules from sportsball to sportsball. They're all the same sports pile why does it matter if a ball touches a net in one thing but doesn't in another???

[There's a one, two, three beat pause--]

Say "ball" one more time, I don't think you made that sentence balls-y enough. [Seriously, Dave.] Sports are kind of overrated anyway, you're not missing much by not understanding them. And I don't know. I guess most people our age forget what's actually cool and what's pretty lame. But I don't mind these things since it means being around people which isn't too bad. If I'm enjoying the company, I stick around. If I'm bored, I leave. Nobody tries to stop me either way.

That barely brushed the depths of the ball-ridden ramblings I could subject you to? [ HE CAN MAKE THIS MORE AWKWARD IF YOU REALLY WANT, JOHN, THIS IS DAVE ] But if you get bored and wanna leave we should go and do somethin'. Like, there are places that are open even though it's the fourth. Or we could steal fireworks and set 'em off early. Or whatever?? I know an arcade with a DDR machine, I could kick your ass at that, fun bondin' activity.

Dude, we just met. I don't think I'm ready for a balls-deep conversation yet. [WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. But shitty humor aside, he seems to think that's not a bad idea.] Wouldn't Rose get mad if you just left her here even if she's busy flirting with people?

[So. That's a thing. He would very much be okay with leaving and hanging out elsewhere.]

Wow, I'm sorry, is that a fifth-meetin' kind of conversation? I'll have to circle it on my calendar and tell all my friends. [ stop ] Also, Rose would probably thank you for gettin' me out before I cramp her style.

[ dave strider is a very trying brother ]

Obviously. Be a gentleman about that sort of thing, jeez. [But he pushes himself off of the counter, turning to face Dave again.] I probably suck at DDR but let's go anyway. What else is open around here?

[He will, apparently, happily steal Rose's brother.]

I'm sorry to have trampled your delicate sensibilities, m'lord. [ 100% mocking southern drawl as he slides off the counter. but it sounds light? so he's teasing. ] As to what's open...no bars that'll take us without fake ids, but I know a laser tag place and Chuck E Cheese and I think the planetarium might have a late thing. None of the museums - the arcade for sure, which you already knew. Movies, but I shudder to think what you'd make us see. Food places, if you get hungry. Probably that rock climbin' place but why the fuck would you make me do that at this hour, or any other hour?

You should be. First you call dibs on me without giving anybody else a chance and now this. Where are your manners, Mr. Strider? [He can deal with that and one hand goes in his pocket as the other kills the can of soda and chucks it in the trash.]

I'm not interested in bars anyway, but the rest of that sounds cool. I kind of want to check out the planetarium? [He doesn't have enough energy to run around playing laser tag.] The planetarium and the arcade. Think there's time for that?

My dibs were perfectly polite? It let everyone else know they'd have to throw down. It's polite to warn people about that?? [ he's JOKING at least but. let's see you do better if it were reversed and john were retrospec'd up and dave was like lmao what?? (john would probably do better. god.) ]

Also, probably yes. In that case though we should do planetarium first, then arcade. The planetarium isn't open quite as late as the arcade, which is 24/7.

You know I still don't believe you about that right? [But he's letting it slide because Dave's turning out to be pretty okay and not weird and creepy.] Just how many other people have you ever called dibs on?

[A nod and he begins to walk out of the house, though at a pace Dave can keep up and they can take their time.] Planetarium it is. I haven't been to one in forever, but I also haven't been to an arcade in forever.

Youuuu would be the first. [ LAUGHS...laughs...sorry john you're the first person he ever felt the need to go "i call that nerd" over. god. dave does easily keep up, since. tall and long legged, and flashstep-capable besides, although he's obviously not doing that because no. ] I go to the planetarium every so often, but it's been a few months. The arcade, though, I go to every month or so if not more? Dirk and I used to go more often than that, but things have been busy.

Oh. [Dave are you okay. Have you ever been okay? He's not going to point out that it makes it weirder but he tucks it into the back of his mind for the moment.] Dirk being your older brother, I bet. At least it's summer so things can't be too busy. It's sort of the other reason I showed up tonight. Nothing else to do and my pizza coupons expired anyway.

[Not really. But also totally viable.] This is a pretty busy place anyway.

However, I have never before met anyone wearin' an Ace Ventura shirt. I could not stop myself. [ YEAH. THAT WAS THE REASON. THE SHIRT. TOTALLY. ] Dirk's my eldest sib, Roxy's next eldest, then Rose, then me. Also pizza coupons expirin' is the worst but there is a pretty ok pizza joint that's, like, spaceship themed. It's really ridiculous. The food is delivered via little spaceshuttle track things.

How mind-blown are you going to be if I say I have more than one? [He doesn't, but he's just curious. He nods along though.] Rose is in one of my classes but obviously I've never met the others. But you can't go wrong with someone who likes video games.

[There's a snort though.] Are the drivers dressed in little alien costumes too? That'd be so sweet.

...Please tell me that's a joke and you only have the one. [ his poor heart. ] Also they actually have to dress up in like, space suits? The servers, I mean. Which is like, why I never applied there although I did consider it at one point. I am not into the LARPing life? Could be, but am not.

Yes that's a joke. I couldn't find any other ones I liked. [But LARPing servers...] How could they even move in those? Aren't spacesuits bulky? We don't have that many gimmick places where I'm from so it's just sort of weird.

They're mostly just, like, cheap shiny fabric, you know? So kinda lame, but it fits the entire aesthetic. It's called Pizza Planet, btw.

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