so age shenanigans "lucy what do you use your musebox for" nonsense threads and holiday cards

[parodeity]

[ one day dave strider wakes up and the tower isn't familiar or comfortable. it's place he's never been with weird trappings of familiarity. there are things that are clearly his or that he...thinks are his? turntables unfamiliar to him in specific except they're his exact set up. clothes in the closet a little too big for his frame, but the pajamas he'd been wearing are just black pants an a loose t-shirt so those are fine. there's stickers on the top of the bunk bed frame, the bed he woke up in, and some are sbahj. there are pictures pinned places he's mostly ignoring because they're too odd, and it's...

not his bedroom. it's not his apartment. after looking out a window, dave's pretty sure it's maybe not his planet.

which, okay. sburb has only just become a thing and already dave is pretty sure bullshit is par for the course. but a little more warning would have been nice? or any warning at all. the workbench in the room he woke up in is weird and a little unsettling and so dave goes...down the stairs because he hears stuff down there and smells.

food?

that is a weird thing to smell in the morning. what the fuck. he'll kind of peer around the corner with as much caution as he can muster, figuring he doesn't see his own corpse so either this doesn't go sideways at all or it just hasn't yet and - ]

Bro. [ deadpan neutral surprise, because, yeah. that's...no, he's younger, but still. hm. reluctantly, dave stops peering around the corner and drifts further into the room, regarding the kitchen being used as a kitchen with well but not perfectly hidden dismay and concern. ]

Comments

[splinten]

[Oh, right.] This world is in a universe where Sburb was never a thing. Humanity survived and kept makin' Portal games.

[Dave is not kicked off. Dirk sits beside Dave, and does not kick him off.]

[parodeity]

[ this is starting to feel like a creepypasta story, dave thinks. ]

Like, how many games are we talkin' here? [ he's slouched forward, semi-hunched over his controller. it's not how he usually sits. normally dave slouches back into the couch and has a somewhat more open body language in general unless he's aggravated about something, which is rarer than it isn't. ]

[splinten]

Only the first two were really authentic. The rest were cashgrabs made by the company later on.

[Yeah Dirk notices that body language. He tries not to mirror it. He tries really hard to be relaxed for Dave.]

[parodeity]

I didn't really play the first one though I know about it? We only had skatin' games, obviously.

[ he. assumes dirk is into those??????????? ]

[splinten]

On your Bro's Xbox, right? I only had the games Roxy sent me to play and she was big on Nintendo.

[Blah blah booting up Portal for co-op mode. This could be friendship-breaker mode for many people but Dave is Dirk's ultimate partner in co-op, they are the Drift Compatibles.

He isn't sure if that will still be true but he assumes it should be, as long as he doesn't make it too awkward.]

I usually prefer games that I can play with people. Co-op or competition. Roxy always kicks my ass in competitions though. [He should explain that:] Roxy's one of my best friends from growin' up. She's the younger alternate universe version of Rose's mom. She likes wizards, cats, video games, and hackin'.

[parodeity]

But not drinkin'? [ wizards and cats and drinking and science was pretty much all he knew about rose's mom. this is weird.

also: drift compatibility is still probably a thing. at least half of it came from being raised to pay specific attention to everything a dirk-shaped atrocity did in an attempt to be able to roll with it, even though he rarely got anywhere with that. he might be a hair slower to react that he would be at seventeen, with a year of positive experiences layered on top of the rest, but he's still lightning quick. ]

I don't think I ever knew her name. Or, uh, yours.

[splinten]

Formerly. She quit.

[Dave knows that so it's okay to say it, he's pretty sure. Hopefully it might help reinforce his idea of difference here.]

Huh. I'm not exactly surprised your Bro never saw fit to give you his own damn name. He seemed to enjoy being obnoxiously mysterious for the sake of it. It's a trait I can get, but not one I agree with followin' through in his manner.

[parodeity]

[ minor dave issues: he wants to defend bro really badly but also. bro is...the one...saying negative things about bro? and defending him would require arguing with him?

?????????? WHAT NOW? ]

Uh. [ what's the safe and expected move here? ] I mean, how many kids really know their parents' names. I'm pretty sure John has no idea what his dad's name is.

[splinten]

Most kids know their parents' names by the time they're thirteen. That's a normal human thing, I researched it.

[parodeity]

John is the most normal guy I know and he didn't? [ wait shit that sounded like arguing (it was arguing) ] But you'd know better than I would.

[ #nailed it ]

[splinten]

[Dave is not??? in trouble for arguing??? WILD! in fact:] You'd definitely know better, actually. I grew up after all of humanity was dead except me and Roxy, so I only know what I learned from media and talkin' to people across time gaps.

[parodeity]

[ what the fuck he doesn't know anything better than bro. dirk. whoever this is. dave fumbles with his controller for a second but recovers before they lose any points or whatever. ] Is anyone else havin' time problems?

[splinten]

I'll send out a text and ask. Do you sense anything weird, time-wise?

[Dave is still the time expert even with three years less experience.]

[parodeity]

Kind of. [ he's not sure what it is and sounds wary about admitting it because he's not sure what it is. ] I don't know? I can't feel it anymore.

[ "it" is the alpha timeline. ]

[splinten]

Sorry, I'm unclear. What's 'it' here?

[parodeity]

The alpha timeline. [ you know his entire Reason To Exist or whatever. that's mildly unsettling?

dave hasn't really done more than vaguely hint he's unsettled about it not being there before, but he's more likely to give straight answers when asked right now. by dirk, anyway. ] I can't get at it.

[splinten]

[if dirk realized that power he'd be too scared to use it]

Right. I'm not sure how it's operatin' here. You told me once you don't think we've gotten ourselves dead-ended, but that the alpha timeline won't happen. You also can't do an unstable timeloop.

[parodeity]

I can't do what. [ nvm he fumbles his move and they lose points. remember how dave did not know that until he tried doing it? he hasn't tried doing it just yet and the loss of that particular safety net is terrifying? ]

[splinten]

[WHOOPS. Uhhh shit.] You can't go back in time and change the timeline. I think the planet's stoppin' you.

[parodeity]

[ haha wow what's the point of dave strider then? this is terrible????????? he. tries to keep playing and tries to do so, like. less bad. ]

Oh. [ what should he say. right. ] Sorry. [ this is terrible ]

I can try to fix it?

[splinten]

Please don't. [Dirk will pause the game so Dave doesn't have to worry about that.] Honestly, I was grateful you couldn't do that. I know it freaks you out, so, uh... sorry? But personally, I don't like the idea of you killin' yourself to correct the timeline, so I'm good with this situation.

[parodeity]

You...don't want me to correct the timeline.

[ we're just playing the repeating things dirk says in increasingly incredulous tones game today, apparently? ]

It wouldn't really be killin' me. I mean. Just one of me. Not the me who would then matter?

[splinten]

I'm aware that you think of it that way, but I don't. Regardless of who 'matters' in that frame, from my perspective, correcting timelines is killing my brother. So I'm not a fan.

[the most likely cause of death for dave strider is dirk though]

[parodeity]

You're not a fan of me dying?

[ ok he needs to. stop just repeating what dirk says. this is stupid. ]

So you're from after the meteor apocalypse, what's that like?

[ SHIT WHY WAS THAT THE SMALLTALK QUESTION TO COME TO MIND. ]

[splinten]

It wasn't a meteor apocalypse. It was a Alien Sea Hitler apocalypse. Mostly it was boring and wet? Divin' in the ruins of Houston was pretty cool though.

[But, because it probably does need to be confirmed:]

I am not a fan of you dying or getting hurt.