so age shenanigans "lucy what do you use your musebox for" nonsense threads and holiday cards

[parodeity]

[ one day dave strider wakes up and the tower isn't familiar or comfortable. it's place he's never been with weird trappings of familiarity. there are things that are clearly his or that he...thinks are his? turntables unfamiliar to him in specific except they're his exact set up. clothes in the closet a little too big for his frame, but the pajamas he'd been wearing are just black pants an a loose t-shirt so those are fine. there's stickers on the top of the bunk bed frame, the bed he woke up in, and some are sbahj. there are pictures pinned places he's mostly ignoring because they're too odd, and it's...

not his bedroom. it's not his apartment. after looking out a window, dave's pretty sure it's maybe not his planet.

which, okay. sburb has only just become a thing and already dave is pretty sure bullshit is par for the course. but a little more warning would have been nice? or any warning at all. the workbench in the room he woke up in is weird and a little unsettling and so dave goes...down the stairs because he hears stuff down there and smells.

food?

that is a weird thing to smell in the morning. what the fuck. he'll kind of peer around the corner with as much caution as he can muster, figuring he doesn't see his own corpse so either this doesn't go sideways at all or it just hasn't yet and - ]

Bro. [ deadpan neutral surprise, because, yeah. that's...no, he's younger, but still. hm. reluctantly, dave stops peering around the corner and drifts further into the room, regarding the kitchen being used as a kitchen with well but not perfectly hidden dismay and concern. ]

Comments

[parodeity]

...If you want?

[ dirk was right: there is no request he can make right now that dave won't allow, regardless of his own feelings on the matter. ]

[splinten]

[Ugh. He doesn't know. But maybe it will help?

Dirk. Awkwardly goes in for the hug.]

I won't attack you. It isn't my thing. I'm not... the same as your Bro.

[parodeity]

[ temporally speaking for dave right now this is...sure the first hug that has ever happened in his life. if dirk thought dave was ever awkward before, back when they'd started everything, it doesn't compare to the way he just freezes up right now. he hasn't had years to get used to occasional displays of affection from rose or others on the meteor. it's uncharted territory and he can't laugh it off because he's not sure how that will go over and dave can't even think thoughts, because its too much new input all at once. there's food on the table and no puppets or weapons and bro weirdly doesn't want to train and he's hugging dave and it's.

a little much, honestly.

but there's an expectation implicit in the action and dave adapts like he always does to what he thinks is needed: after an awkward frozen moment of terrified indecision, he hesitantly returns the hug and hopes that's what dirk wanted here. ]

[splinten]

[fuck.

fuckity fucking fuck.

Dirk pulls back, and swallows.]

Sorry, I didn't—I thought it might help.

I'm sorry.

[Someone decapitate him he's a monster and all he's going to do is make this thirteen year old child feel terrified and scared.]

[parodeity]

It's cool. [ rapid-fire response as dave shrugs, his hands...dropping from where they'd raised to return the hug to kind of lay uselessly in his lap. hm. ] I don't mind?

[ dirk freaking out is kind of freaking him out because maybe he didn't respond right? holy shit dave how hard is it to hug someone, why can't you do it right?? ]

Thanks for the pancakes? [ a subdued but desperate grab for any other topic as a distraction - he's still not being super chatty, which is probably weird. normally by now dave would have gone off on ten different tangents and probably casually made fun of dirk about twenty different times. ]

[splinten]

No problem. I like cookin' for you.

[he wants to dieeee everything is weird and he wants to dieeee]

I don't think I can mess up video games, so let's do that.

[parodeity]

[ it's weird watching bro freak out and also: did he ruin breakfast ever being a thing again because it was actually nice to eat real food. god he hopes he didn't ruin breakfast ever being a thing again? ]

Ok. Where are they? [ dave fiddles with the shades clipped to his shirt, his eyes tracking dirk. there seems to be no actual inclination to bolt, at least, but considering he's frequently displayed a tendency to kind of stick around through things he hates that isn't totally reassuring, probably.

he's...okay? with this? kind of. weirded out but. ]

[splinten]

One floor up. Uh.

[Because of Dave being like this, Dirk is worried about food. He decides to go to the cabinets and grab some of their standard snack stuff and pile it into his arms.]

In case we get hungry.

[parodeity]

[ he's messing this up, he keeps making dirk freak out. but so far the freak outs have been...what? not contributing? which is weird. maybe he needs to do more, though, like. ]

Do you want me to grab juice and stuff?

[ if he's grabbing all those snacks. ]

[splinten]

If you want to? Fuck, you want to do anything I want you to. Uh. It's okay, I'll get them.

[He has a sylladex he can fit it in there! While dying....]

[parodeity]

[ secretly dave was checking to see if that was the kind of contribution dirk wanted, yes. EVEN MORE SECRETLY...he wanted to know if he was going to get more juice.

since like, he actually got refrigerated (!!!) aj with the pancakes (?????!!!) and that was. nice. ]

Okay. [ maybe he is not trusted to handle the food stuff and that is. acceptable? okay. ] I can go set up the games? [ asking, not telling, again. ]

[splinten]

If you want. Uh... [Wait. Mario Kart is competitive. What isn't a competitive game.] Grab Portal 2 instead, maybe?

[parodeity]

They made a sequel? [ 2011 RELEASE DATE, ergo: dave doesn't know it. he sounds vaguely interested, actually, then look concerned for a split second that was wrong. dirk keeps emoting and he's not sure if that means he should start or not? ] All right.

[ it's a direction on what to do, anyway, so he'll get up from the table and head to the stairs. he can probably figure out setting up a game system. it isn't rocket science. ]

[splinten]

[Dirk doesn't disapprove of emoting, clearly. But. Okay. Dave is gone.

It's possible that Dirk opens up the fridge and puts his head inside it and then partly shuts the fridge. DECAPITATE HIM.



It only takes a few minutes before Dirk comes up to join Dave again. He puts the food on the table for easy reach, and also aj for Dave and oj for himself.]

Hey.

[parodeity]

[ dave has set up the system, taken the player 2 control as a matter of course, and is sitting cautiously cross-legged on the couch like he might be kicked off. ]

Hey. How did you get shit made in 2011???

[splinten]

[Oh, right.] This world is in a universe where Sburb was never a thing. Humanity survived and kept makin' Portal games.

[Dave is not kicked off. Dirk sits beside Dave, and does not kick him off.]

[parodeity]

[ this is starting to feel like a creepypasta story, dave thinks. ]

Like, how many games are we talkin' here? [ he's slouched forward, semi-hunched over his controller. it's not how he usually sits. normally dave slouches back into the couch and has a somewhat more open body language in general unless he's aggravated about something, which is rarer than it isn't. ]

[splinten]

Only the first two were really authentic. The rest were cashgrabs made by the company later on.

[Yeah Dirk notices that body language. He tries not to mirror it. He tries really hard to be relaxed for Dave.]

[parodeity]

I didn't really play the first one though I know about it? We only had skatin' games, obviously.

[ he. assumes dirk is into those??????????? ]

[splinten]

On your Bro's Xbox, right? I only had the games Roxy sent me to play and she was big on Nintendo.

[Blah blah booting up Portal for co-op mode. This could be friendship-breaker mode for many people but Dave is Dirk's ultimate partner in co-op, they are the Drift Compatibles.

He isn't sure if that will still be true but he assumes it should be, as long as he doesn't make it too awkward.]

I usually prefer games that I can play with people. Co-op or competition. Roxy always kicks my ass in competitions though. [He should explain that:] Roxy's one of my best friends from growin' up. She's the younger alternate universe version of Rose's mom. She likes wizards, cats, video games, and hackin'.

[parodeity]

But not drinkin'? [ wizards and cats and drinking and science was pretty much all he knew about rose's mom. this is weird.

also: drift compatibility is still probably a thing. at least half of it came from being raised to pay specific attention to everything a dirk-shaped atrocity did in an attempt to be able to roll with it, even though he rarely got anywhere with that. he might be a hair slower to react that he would be at seventeen, with a year of positive experiences layered on top of the rest, but he's still lightning quick. ]

I don't think I ever knew her name. Or, uh, yours.

[splinten]

Formerly. She quit.

[Dave knows that so it's okay to say it, he's pretty sure. Hopefully it might help reinforce his idea of difference here.]

Huh. I'm not exactly surprised your Bro never saw fit to give you his own damn name. He seemed to enjoy being obnoxiously mysterious for the sake of it. It's a trait I can get, but not one I agree with followin' through in his manner.

[parodeity]

[ minor dave issues: he wants to defend bro really badly but also. bro is...the one...saying negative things about bro? and defending him would require arguing with him?

?????????? WHAT NOW? ]

Uh. [ what's the safe and expected move here? ] I mean, how many kids really know their parents' names. I'm pretty sure John has no idea what his dad's name is.

[splinten]

Most kids know their parents' names by the time they're thirteen. That's a normal human thing, I researched it.

[parodeity]

John is the most normal guy I know and he didn't? [ wait shit that sounded like arguing (it was arguing) ] But you'd know better than I would.

[ #nailed it ]