lucybox | slams hands on table best friends

slams hands on table best friends

[ dave strider ends up choosing cinematography to study because, fuck, why not? it's almost graduation when he finally decides, and it's sort of at random. it's not that he doesn't like video-taping shit (he does) or that he isn't into special effects and sound stuff (he is) but there's a lot of shit dave is into and he wasn't sure how to translate that to college. he loves music; he loves dance; he's really into the film shit and his shitty comics, but he definitely can't do art because the shitty comic quality isn't shitty on accident. but he consults with his siblings and he thinks about it hard and he makes a decision.

and god, it was easier to be excited about that decision before memories and past lives and powers came into play, but it's still kind of cool. dirk hated college but dave likes the idea of it. he likes the routine normality that it seems to suggest, the way he feels kind of grown up and like a half-competent adult when he packs up his shit and heads off to university. it's still in the city so it's not like he's really gone, but it's enough of a distance to allow him to pretend.

these days, somewhat to his surprise, dave wants to pretend. rose doesn't remember a thing about anything going on and his parents probably never will, and it's strange and too much like playing pretend every day to live there. he can't tell them about anything. he can't even tell roxy, because he doesn't want to mention most of the things he knows to anyone. even the tiny things are seeming more and more dangerous, because then it's just a chain of memories, all the way down the line, and eventually they'll all remember the shit he doesn't say, but -

but. well. he can, for now, pretend to be an ordinary kid at college. he has a schedule? he has a mini fridge. he has a room, and he's carefully pinned up a few posters and sorted all his things. he's mindlessly listening to music with his earbuds in when the door opens, and he tracks the movement even behind his shades and sits up. ]

Yo - [ he's absolutely never met the guy who just waltzed into his (their) room but dave absolutely knows him. he reflexively reaches up to adjust his shades. okay. shit. that's john egbert - or...someone? maybe his name is different? but it's john, egderp, the dork who really likes mc...whatever and hates cake and who gave dave these shades, once upon a time, and he's here and really a real live person and ok dave maybe stop staring you're being weird.

shit he's in kindergarten again? how the fuck did you make someone your best friend back then. did you just go up and say "mine" and call dibs? does someone else have dibs???? can dave fight them for dibs -

STILL STARING, DAVE ]

Uh, [ internal screaming ] I'm Dave. Sup.

[ an attempt was made. i guess. ]

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[ ok i will set something up later tonight so john can just laugh @ dave forever i guess, wtf

also, dave. laughs. it's not the reaction he should have to the question, and thinking about it he's not...sure? any longer? would he have offered to let someone punch him six months ago if he upset them? or would he have just told them to tell him to knock it off or something? it's definitely not like anyone in his family here and now has ever raised a hand and hurt him. ]

It might be a sibling thing? [ he says, like any of his siblings would rough house. the most dirk ever did was mess up his hair, and rose can use her words, and roxy just hugs him. dave's the youngest and he was coddled a lot and he never had to fight for any reason at all. ] Like, I wasn't suggestin' you break my nose. An arm punch would work? There are levels of punchin', here, and I was lettin' you know you could do like tier ten or somethin' way down at the bottom. I wouldn't snitch to the RA, what if I got a new roomie like ten minutes into this college thing, that would be terrible?

[Bless. Sorry they're both like this and sorry for monopolizing your time and w/e

The laugh isn't exactly what he expects but you know what, it breaks the weird kind of tension and it's better than staring at Dave with frosting on his face and fingers and trying to figure out how to say "haha yeah my dad disappeared when I was 13 and I haven't really seen him since save for maybe a skype call or two but it's fine." He doesn't know enough about the Striders and how they work to even think that's weird, so he nods and accepts that.]

Sounds like it. And it's fine? There's other ways I can get back at you without arm-punching, you just won't know about it. [A grin.] If you ended up getting a new roomie before the first day on campus was over I'd have to take back your "I'm proud of you" cupcake. That's just sad.

[But. College.] How long have you lived here anyway? You said you're from Texas but you seem used to being here.

[ you are not sorry at all

dave starts to tear off pieces of the rest of the cupcake to eat. why is he demolishing this thing in such weird ways. he actually does pause to chew and swallow rather than talk with his mouth full, at least. ]

Too late to take it back now, dude. And I've lived here since I was eight. [ AND YET HIS ACCENT? IS STILL REALLY STRONG? dave why. he eyes john with a wary but contemplative air. ] ...Would these "other ways" involve pranks?

[I'm about as sorry as you are for dragging me here

If Dave wants to eat like a bird that is definitely his prerogative since John's eating his like a normal person and doesn't care enough to judge him. Make fun of, sure, but at least he has enough sense to talk without cake in his mouth.]

I could gut-punch you and solve both problems. [Haha. Gross. But he's about to ask another question in the vein of "what's it really like here" but then Dave does the thing and John's giving him that look again. The one that says it's weird that Dave can predict things.] Do I really look like the prankster type?

[Maybe if you didn't have that smug-ass look on your face, John. Maybe the answer would be "no."]

[ fine then

also dave snorts, which is way more genuine than the laugh he gave earlier. ]

Dude, you look straight up like you're about to pull out a pie and slam it in my face or something diabolical. Like, the look you are givin' me right now basically could only be completed with one of those skinny twirly-ass mustaches all the old-school cartoon villains had, which seemed to exist solely so they could like wrap the ends around their fingers to indicate how deep in thought they were? So, yeah, I'm gonna go with "hell fuckin' yes" you look like the prankster type. Don't mess with my juice or my phone and I'll deal, though.

Dude, every great prankster and villain known to man has a stupid-looking mustache, everyone knows that. Do I have a stupid-looking mustache? [He does not have a clever disguise (but only because he considered it too childish at the last minute and settled for leaving it at home.] Besides, a great prankster, even if I were one, would never reveal that they were a great prankster because it takes away the element of surprise.

[So yeah. Dave's got his number. But okay. Drawer filled with pants and cupcake eaten, it's time to rifle through the second suitcase of stupid shit.] Your phone's safe. I barely even use mine. No promises on the juice though.

[There's a slight lull, and then, almost conversationally:] You're pretty good at reading people, Strider. Should I be scared?

[ like, shit? the truth is, even without the background knowledge, dave...well, he pays attention when he can. he's not always great with dealing with people having emotions, but he is able to hone in on certain things simply because - well, in this lifetime because he gives a fuck and he's used to a brother who isn't as expressive as he could be. in another, it was a survival instinct to watch people very, very closely and to try to glean some sort of tell out of a facade of absolutely nothing.

but he's being too familiar, and dave knows it.

the thing is, he's not sure if he cares enough to stop. ]

You haven't met my sister yet. She's got me beat - anything and everythin' I learned was in self-defense. Rose...likes to analyze people. I guess I picked up some fake habits from her, though I'm pretty sure there's a lot I'd never guess about you.

[ things that don't match up with the past life. things that have happened in the time they have not known one another. ]

The cool thing about meeting new people is you get to find that stuff out, though.

Wait what the fuck do you mean you barely even use your phone??????????

[ THE POKER FACE FADES INTO A LOOK OF SHEER HORROR. ]

Oh my god, what the shit, how do you live.

You're sure Rose shouldn't be going into psychology instead? I used to know a girl who was all about mind games. [An alternate universe Vriska, really, but he doesn't have to think about the girl he sometimes would still text right now. He doesn't have to think about anything except for Dave knowing how to read him and John unsure why, really, that feels like a thing that could be okay. It's nothing incredibly daunting and...well, he wanted to maybe build himself up here to something else but if Dave knows certain things about him, it's okay. They're roommates and they're stuck together for a whole year. What difference does it make if he knows them now versus knowing them later down the line?

But instead Dave's face appears horrified and John lets out a loud laugh, more startled and amused by the change in expression than anything.]

I barely use it. [Oh god, why is this so funny?] I don't really need it for much, I only text a couple of people and check my messages and watch videos sometimes. It's not like it does much anyway. [He picks up his phone again. It's literally an original iPhone instead of, like, an iPhone 7 or something.] I got tired of buying a new one every time something happened to the old one, so I just stopped really using it. [Which explains, probably, why he also hasn't looked at it since he entered the city. He can't help but waggle his eyebrows teasingly.] This probably counts as a cool thing about meeting new people.

Sweet baby jesus on unicycle with a monkey. [ what - okay moving on. dave is just. oh my god??? for a kid who literally has his phone on him at all times (though he hasn't checked it since john walked in, that is somewhat out of the usual for him) this information is hard to parse. even rose uses her phone more than this, though admittedly she has to constantly field texts from dave and has no other options. ] Do you not - do you not even follow anyone on twitter? Oh my god do you do any social media at all, please say you're not like Dirk and all "blah blah blah privacy, Dave, blah blah blah academically framed reasons I cannot get a twitter account and follow you to be at'd", I don't think my heart can take the shock??

[ THAT PHONE IS SO OLD? GOD? FORGET ABOUT REINCARNATIONS AND EVERYTHING THIS IS ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!! ]

Wait when something happened to the - what are you doing to your phones. Are you a serial phone murderer? Suddenly I'm not sure this is fate. Keep your mechanical death hands away from my child?

[ yes. he just referred to his phone as his child. problem? ]

Didn't know baby jesus was that talented. [WHAT. He settles for giving Dave a fairly calm look as he proceeds to freak out about John's lack of phone addiction and he's just trying not to laugh like a jackass as he looks down at his screen, not bothering to even unlock it to see what's going on. The battery's probably almost dead, too. Did he remember a charger? Fuck.]

I have a Twitter and a Facebook and a Tumblr and a YouTube channel. I follow people. Sometimes I remember to check and sometimes I don't. [Sometimes John is shit at the social part of social media. John is one of those friends that shows up for a bit, mass retweets/reblogs your shit, and then disappears again for a few weeks.] And I am not a serial phone murderer! Sometimes things just happen to them and--[...] "Your child"? Really, Dave?

Baby jesus has more talent in his pinky finger than either of us does in our entire bodies, I'm pretty sure that's the basis of Christianity. [ he knows it is not but sometimes you just have to Say Stupid Shit. MORE IMPORTANTLY: ]

Are you tryin' to suggest my profound connection with my son is anything less than genuine and heartrendin' and worthy of a Hallmark movie special? Because if so you clearly do not grasp the ups and downs we have been through, here. The fruit of my goddamn loins, except metaphorical, because mpreg phone babies are not yet a thing although sometimes you hear about science updates and it's like, shit, that can't be far off in the future.

[ ... ]

Anyway what's your handle on all of those, imma follow you.

[ APPARENTLY THIS IS NOT A QUESTION, BUT A STATEMENT don't do it, john, he'll @ you all the time. ]

Sure. [Why the fuck not?] I'm not sure I want to be around for a future where mpreg phone babies ever become a thing. Let me know how that goes if it ever does become a thing. But excuuuuse me for not seeing the genuine...nous of your special bond. I hope you and your son can forgive me and this doesn't traumatize him.

[But okay. Now he unlocks his phone and goes through the process of logging into his shit because he sure can't even remember the last time he logged in.] Breath of Heir. All one word all lowercase. Most of what I reblog and retweet is just movie shit other people posted first though, fair warning. So what you're saying is I should never expect to see you without your phone on you and if that happens then you've been replaced by an alien or something.

Edited 2017-05-07 07:04 (UTC)

[ dave's unlocking his own phone and going to type in the username when given to add john on Absolutely Everything right now, but he pauses at the username. ]

Heir. Like, heir to the throne, not air? [ he did shit like that, too, he realizes. sweet bro and hella jeff, though the comics were a little less...disturbed. his stupid handles on websites. why did these little things carry over? ] Also, yes to the abductions. And I'm turntech godhead, no spaces, I'm adding you on everythin' rn.

[ he needs to join acronyms anonymous or something. ]

Edited 2017-05-07 07:09 (UTC)

Uh huh. [Wow why the fuck are there so many @'s right now, chill out, everyone.] It's kind of a dumb story but it stuck and air like breathable air was taken anyway. [Likewise, he's going to actually make an Attempt and start hunting for Dave on these sites. They'll probably overlap friend requests.] But that's cool. 'Cause of the music mixing thing or something else?

[There's something in his tone that says it's more than curiosity, but he's leaving it alone.]

[ rip john you have not known a true amount of @s until after this day, when you made the mistake of adding dave strider on all your social media. just ask his poor beleaguered sister.

the something else has dave glancing up from his phone - still behind shades, still hard to see. it's always impossible to tell who remembers anything at all, and he feels like "hey so have you ever heard of this terrible phone app called retrospec" could go south fast or at least make john think dave is crazy, which dave...does not want? being crazy is no fun. ]

I picked it up a while back and streamlined, I used to go by a variety of shit but then it just kinda clicked. [ sometimes he also types in red, because he can't fucking help himself. ] But yeah, the turntech part is because of, like, turntables and mixin'. Godhead is for how fuckin' divine I am at it. Second comin' of Snoop Dogg.

[#suffering #daveno #rip

He's not facing Dave because he's still fucking around on his phone, clicking around to switch from one app to the next to add/accept Dave's friend requests to stuff. If Dave bothers snooping later he'll notice that most of John's stuff is definitely just other people's shit except for his YouTube channel which seems to be made up of dumb little videos he's edited. John's also seemed to have forgotten his YT profile has a link to a Soundcloud account with snippets of piano pieces he's composed.]

I changed my name all the time when I first started making accounts but I had to switch because I either kept having to block people or I'd forget my passwords and lock myself out. [...] Jesus. Snoop Dogg? Now I know you're just fucking with me. [Even as he says that though, he navigates to the home screen of his phone and he's about to put the thing away when something catches his eye. He frowns in confusion, squinting at it for a moment.] But cool name for a cool dude or whatever.

[ dave always snoops. all the time? in adding the youtube account he does find the soundcloud link and like. subscribes to that or whatever one does on a soundcloud, as well as directs his phone to dl the music because yesssssss music.

so he's not quite watching what john is doing on his screen, though he looks up as john frowns.

holy shit did he mess up or something? was there something super offensive on one of his accounts? dave clearly tweets daily, and reblogs shit and makes posts on tumblr all the time, and his instagram is absolutely flooded with random snaps. he makes stupid jokes and references and he has a weird eclectic following of internet denizens, and some of it is probably offensive, but - ]

You only say that 'cause you've never seen me mix. You should hit Cabin Eleven with me sometime, I do music there on occasion. Like, DJing, I mean.

[There you go, you social media addict. John, true to his word, has a little of everything and can be found on everything even if he didn't directly say so but some things are more empty than others. On the other hand he seems to be impatiently tapping his screen and trying to delete something. How's that going for you, Egbert?]

That bar downtown? I passed it on my way here. How do you even DJ at a bar, aren't you only like 18? [Explain the wonders of my other shitty character's dumb bar. And also maybe explain why the fuck is this weird as shit app not deleting itself? That would require John saying something instead of increasingly poking his screen but you know. Details.]

There's minor hours, in the day. The guy who runs it does up the fancy drinks all non-alcoholic, too - there's one named for me, Hero of Rhyme? My sis has a drink, too - what are you doing.

[ holy shit? ]

Stop abusing your phone, this is how you apparently broke an unspecified number of other phones. I'm gonna revoke your phone privileges at this rate, holy shit.

[He should say something like "oh that's cool!" or "yeah let's definitely go check that out" but no. Instead, he tunes in a moment later and flashes him a mildly annoyed look, though the annoyance isn't at Dave himself.]

Go ahead. I think the dumb thing might be shitting itself anyway. It keeps downloading the same app over and over again.

[ dave immediately reaches out for the phone before catching himself, because no, that won't help. ]

Turn the phone and show me? [ if he takes the phone it'll just be his damn access to the app, regardless of whether or not the phone had retrospec to start. shit, maybe he should just see if he can message john on there but he doesn't want to get his hopes up (like he does every damn month with rose).

it's said forced-casual but once again 100% of his focus is on john. sorry john! ]

[He's had this phone for a really long time now (a solid six months, thank you) so it's no problem for him to rotate it in his hand and still navigate, thumb holding down on the icon and hitting the x. Dave will absolutely see that the Retrospec app is redownloading itself instead.]

I've never seen it do that before, but I said the same thing right before the battery in my old phone expanded and exploded out the window. [Luckily for both of them. John's now worried about having to get another phone (again!) over paying attention to Dave's weird attention thing.]

[ all right dave this is not the time to be weird and do something improbably clingy and overfamiliar, just play it cool and - haha no he's obviously doing the stupid clingy thing and just kind of peers over at the app before nodding, sighing, and toppling forward kind of to drop his forehead on john's shoulder like this is not going to weird john out.

it has been a hard amount of months okay give him a second. ]

A'ight, how the fuck did you make your battery explode in your other phone? You are seriously never allowed to touch my phone, ever, just fyi.

[ IS HE..................GOING TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK HE IS DOING AT ALL? no.

express relief less absurdly dave.

ok but he will straighten up after a second and readjust his shades and - still fail to explain, just kind of eyeing john?? ]

[Oh. Okay. So this is absolutely happening and John tenses up for all of .5 seconds before he looks down at the top of Dave's head.

Okay. Something's up. Something is definitely up and what the fuck, what the fuck is it? Ever since he walked into the room Dave's been different and it's been a little questionable but nothing bad, John just figured Dave was good at reading people but this.

...he doesn't bother pushing him off either. He just lets Dave get away with this and apparently decides this is definitely in his weird comfort zone, though he's giving a quizzical look even when Dave sits upright.]

Same way I accidentally ran one over with my car, dropped another one in a vat of movie theatre butter, had another one stolen by a seal and lost one in one of those displays at Ikea. It just happened. [Are you going to explain, Dave?] Maybe this one's finally just too old to function.

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